Ethiopia Trip: Days 1-2: Travel

December 25-26, 2009:

We woke early on Christmas morning to finish up late-minute packing and get R to my friend H's house, where she'd stay 2 nights until my parents returned home from Florida.

R was excited about going to H's house to play with H's 2 daughters.

I was nervous about leaving R for a week and nervous about the 24 1/2 hours travel A and I had ahead of us. On top of that, I'd slept badly (and not very much) and felt horrible. Nerves? Yeah, probably. And I always feel sick before a big trip like this.

Passports? Check. IDs? Check. Money? Check. Return ticket for the baby? Check. Contact solution? (R hid my glasses that morning so I was going to have to just wear contacts the entire trip.) Check.

Ok, we were good to go.

We left the house for the last time as a family of three...

We got to H's house and stayed a little bit. H's parents and grandmother were there to have Christmas morning breakfast, and H's two daughters were excited to see R and to be playing with all their new toys. I tearfully said good bye to my sweet 2-year-old girl, who said, "Bye, Mom!" with a smile and went back to playing with a new train set her friends received from Santa.

The first flight of our trip was uneventful and fine. We checked our 4 bins of donations and carried on everything for us and the baby, as once again I was worried everything wouldn't make it.

We got to Detroit just fine. However, as our flight to Amsterdam got delayed more and more, I started to worry about making our connection to Addis Ababa. The information at the gate was that they had to change planes.

However, the information from the massive CNN screens told us a different story. A flight from Amsterdam to Detroit had had some trouble... A man, CNN was reporting, had tried to light a firecracker on the flight. From watching that and piecing together what the airline was telling us, I gathered that our plane was supposed to be that one on the trip from Detroit to Amsterdam and they had to replace our plane as the FBI was currently examining that one. (Note: We later learned that it was an attempted terrorist attack, not just firecrackers.)

Right before we finally got on the plane, we met R and D, who were in our travel group. They were great to travel with (not just saying that because you read my blog, R! We really did enjoy being on the trip with you, D, and Baby B!).

I wrote in my travel journal the following about the flight:

"The flights and travel [to Addis] were grueling, especially Detroit to Amsterdam. The diaper bag was crammed at my feet, and we were wedged between two strangers. The Amsterdam airport, big, crowded, and overwhelming. Neither of us slept on [the flight from Detroit to Amsterdam] so we were awake over 24 hours. Our KLM flight from Amsterdam to Addis Ababa was much better."

Above: Here we are on the plane, ready to get to Addis Ababa and to meet our girl!

Below: The out the window shots on the flight from Amsterdam to Addis. Baby girl, we flew over the ocean, across the desert, and above mountains to get to you.

I was soooo glad to get to Ethiopia. Truly, it felt like coming home, and in a way, it was. After all, half our little family called Ethiopia home for the first months of their lives.

We got through the visa line, customs, and immigration chatting with R and D. The airport experience was pretty much the same as the last time, except that they do have more than one x-ray machine, so that made the process a lot quicker.

We found our bins with the "help" of the man who in the last time around bullied me into giving him a 20 birr tip for loading 3 bags onto the x-ray. He didn't remember us (obviously!!), but I sure remembered him. He was just as pushy as the last time... the difference this time being he did NOT get that tip from me!

Finally, we got through the doors, and I scanned the crowd waiting to pick people up for J and D, who picked us up the last time. And, suddenly, there was D, smiling and holding a sign that said "[Our agency] Family." I was so happy to see him, and said, "Hi, D, do you remember us?!?" He said he did, and I told him we were back for our second child. It was awesome to see him again, as he was so good to us the last time.

We waited for a little while for the rest of the families in our travel group to get through all the lines and baggage claim. A few were missing some bags and had to fill out paperwork. We got to know the other families a little bit, and they all seemed so nice. (We were lucky to have such a great travel group!)

We all were tired and ready to get to the hotel. It was around 11pm, and we had been traveling for so long.

We exited the airport, and, to my surprise, it really was raining in Ethiopia. So weird, as the first time around it was sunny and mostly cloudless. Below, my (blurry) picture of the airport from the parking lot. I was too tired to care if it came out or not.

We met J with another van in the parking lot, and our luggage was loaded onto the tops of the vans once again. I don't know why, but I was nervous our bags would all go flying off the roof. Of course, they were fine, just like before.

Driving through Addis late at night... How to describe it? It was familiar, for sure, and heart-breaking, too. The poverty, the homeless people on the streets, the blue and white cabs. They were all there, again...

We got to the big overpass near the hotel, and I recognized it as being close. I said to A, "We're almost there..." and soon, we were there. At the Union. Again. Ahh, home, at least in a way.

We waited in line to check in and, unfortunately did not get the same room we had the last time. I was hoping to get it, just because it was the room we'd gotten to know our first daughter in, and it held memories for us. However, we were on the 3rd floor this time, and the room was smaller. I didn't like the room at first and asked to change room. They were all full, but we could have done so the next day. We didn't end up doing that, and the room ended up to be just fine in the end.

Like the last time, we fell into bed and slept, our daughter just a couple of blocks away spending her last night in the place that had been her home for the past 2 1/2 months.

Geez, y'all are fussy!

Shall I start at the...

beginning.....

or the

end.....

of our trip to Ethiopia????

2 Weeks Home

Can ya believe it? She's been home for 2 weeks. In some ways it seems like we were JUST in Ethiopia... On the other hand, it all seems like a very distant memory and that she's always been with us.

My daughters, they are amazing.

I am such a lucky momma!

And, my dear friend S is home with her Sweet B as of this afternoon! What a reason to celebrate!

Mom FAIL!

Ugh. Day two of A back at work, and I've already failed miserably as a (temporary) stay at home mom of two.

I take synthroid daily and have always just kept it by my bed. R knows it is for mom only and doesn't mess with it...

Until today.

R wanted Beary, who happened to be on my bed so I sent her upstairs on her own to get him. E and I stayed downstairs and played baby drums. R shut the door to my room, and I could hear her getting into the shoes on the shoe rack hanging from the door. No big deal, really, I thought, plus it was keeping her occupied for a few minutes.

E started fussing the "I'm hungry and tired" cry so we went into the kitchen to get a bottle. After making it, we went upstairs to my room.

Upon seeing R, she had "the look" in her eyes. You know. The "I'm up to no good" look. I was expecting to find lotion everywhere or something.

Then I noticed the pill bottle on the floor. I ran to it and picked it up.

Empty.

I started panicking. I asking her where mommy's medicine was. "Eat, eat," she said with the sign for it as well. I asked her again, and she gave me the same answer. (Sometimes she makes stuff up so I needed to be certain.)

I called A and couldn't get a hold of him. I was crying. E was crying. R was just standing there. A called me back and got the number for poison control for me.

When I could talk, I called. (I was really hysterical.) I gave the guy the information, and thank you god, the medication wasn't going to kill her. She's fine.

I just held her and sobbed until A got home. E, the sweet little baby, fell asleep while having her bottle next to us on my bed.

Ok, that was definitely more terrifying than her breaking her arm this summer.

And the whole episode from her going upstairs to my finding she'd eaten the pills was 3 or 4 minutes at the most.

So, yeah, a big FAIL to me as a mom of two...

(BTW, A's working on transferring my picture files to an external hard drive, so I'll actually be able to post some pictures of the baby soon!)

Giardia

It actually sounds like sort of a pretty word. A town on the Italian Riviera perhaps. Or a fancy coffee drink.

But no. It's a crappy word (pun intended). And I'm tired of it already. Yes, we're the lucky ones with an Ethiopian child who came home with giardia.

Do you know who I just got off the phone with? The public health department!! Like my baby is going to infect everyone with this horrific disease that will wipe out the population of our city or something! At least that is how the lady on the phone made me feel.

Yesterday, the baby went through 5 outfits!!

And we have to give her nasty, horrible-tasting medicine 3 times a day. Now that is a great way to bond with your new child. Hold her down and force her to take nasty medicine.

It's been one week...

... since we got home!

And what a week it has been.

Here are some changes in my sweet baby since we came home:

1. She is not rejecting me anymore.

2. She is eating like a beast.

3. She never stops moving. (Although still WAY more calm than R.)

4. She can pick up cheerios and puffs and get them in her mouth successfully.

5. She gets angry and throws her head back if she doesn't get her way.

6. She is obsessed with her big sister's hair.

7. She is only waking up once a night.

8. She smiles and giggles.

I fell in love with her yesterday. Does that sound weird? Probably not if you're an adoptive parent. It was strange for me, as with R, I was completely in love with her from the first moment I held her in my arms. R and I connected instantly.

This time, though, was different.

Last night was a beautiful moment. I was feeding her a bottle. She stopped drinking it, looked up right into my eyes, smiled at me, and giggled. She was comfortable in my arms... comfortable and happy. And suddenly, I realized I love her. Wholly, completely, forever.

She is mine and I am hers.

Merry Christmas...

... Ethiopian style! Yes, today was ET Christmas. We didn't do anything for it today due to the bad weather, but we're planning to on Saturday.

Where are the pictures? The day to day posts about our trip to Ethiopia? The updates on the baby and R? They're coming, they're coming.

I promise. There is just a lot going on around here and NO TIME!!

S leaves for ET tomorrow. Safe travels! I cannot wait to see a picture of the whole family!
Lots of love,
M

I'm going to bed.

Good night.

For Sale:

One Two-Year-Old Princess.
Comes complete with cabin fever and a very clear pronunciation of the word "MINE!"

Ok, obviously, I'm just being silly and don't mean that AT ALL, but R is quite the challenge today!

Napping...

...at the same time? Both girls?

Heaven!

We're Home

I'm exhausted.

Of course.

As I am in no shape to find my camera, find the card reader, and download pictures from our trip just yet, I will leave you with the first picture I saw of T when we got our referral. I thought it seemed appropriate.

Good night... Pray we all sleep tight! (Girls are both asleep right now in matching sleepers in their own beds.)

Update from ET!!!

This is M's friend, M, updating for her while they are in ET. As I have been, I'm sure you all have been anxiously awaiting an update!

I got my first update today in the form of a couple of short text messages. A & M do not have internet access at their hotel this time, so details will be limited.

By the time all of us woke up yesterday morning (Sunday), E was in their arms! As I type this, E is sleeping peacefully in M & A's hotel room, as it is around 8 pm (Monday) there. She seems to have taken especially well to A and is looking to be a Daddy's Girl! He was able to get her to sleep tonight after a meltdown.

M reports that she did cry a lot yesterday, as is to be expected. She has a cold that is worsening, so that, of course, compounds the issue.

However, M tells me that they are doing great, and that E is precious, sweet, and cuddly! She has 3 teeth and loves to chew on spoons. She also says that E is much calmer than R. R is quite the bundle of energy, so for M & A's sake, let's hope this phase lasts at least until they have settled in at home and R has gotten used to her new baby sister! They had their embassy appointment today and that went well.

Tomorrow, M & A are going shopping while E plays at HH. Keep them in your prayers that their trip continues to progress smoothly and I will post updates as I receive them!

Merry Leave for Ethiopia Day

It's after midnight, so it counts.

A and I are doing bills. Too bad the whole world doesn't stop while we go get our girl.

R woke up a little while ago crying. Poor curly fry. She had a bad dream. I pray that she sleeps peacefully while we're gone.

We're packed, save a few things to throw in the bags in the morning.

I still don't feel like this is actually happening! My friend M will update the blog while we're in country if she hears from us.

Merry Christmas!

Making Progress

I have no idea how we prepared for our trip to bring R home with my working the entire week before, as well as having 2 baby showers and parent-teacher conferences! We would have never made it this time around.

However, A and I have both been off this week and working like crazy to prepare ourselves, our 2-year-old, and our baby's room before we leave on Friday.

This is not without some help from our friends and family. Thank god for them. Yesterday A's friend J came and helped him paint for a good portion of the day. This evening, J called at 5pm and asked if we could use some more help tonight or tomorrow... He and his wife came and helped us for a couple more hours! J, A, and I worked on the room while J's wife played with R the entire time.

And earlier in the day, A's mom came and watched R for us while I went to the dentist and A ran errands. She is coming tomorrow, too, but just to bring us the valance for the baby's window.

I'm loving how the room is turning out. I plan to try to post a few pictures tomorrow if time allows. If not, that'll have to wait until we get home, and then who knows when I'll have time.

I went to the store tonight at 9:3o or so to get some last minute things for the trip and milk, diapers, and wipes for R.

So yeah, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Which is also Leave for Ethiopia Eve.

I'm exhausted and going to bed.
Good night.

Some Christmas Pictures

R got her picture taken with my friend H's kids recently. Here are some pictures from the photo shoot. It was a nightmare, but at least some of the pictures turned out well.

Really? x 2

What is up with my child? Tonight, I got to pull a "pink raisin" (cranberry) out of her nose when we got home.

The thing is that I even checked all around her car seat to make sure there were none in it from the other night. Apparently, I missed one.

When we got home she had a flushed face and was sort of snotty (pleasant!). I asked her if she stuck something up her nose, and she said, "no, Momma." When we got in the house she would not get up in her chair to have dinner.

She finally said, "Mom, rais, nose." Yep, sure enough, I got the tweezers and got to pull a nasty, smashed up, snotty cranberry out of my child's nose.

Who knew being a mom was so glamorous??

Did I tell you?

My sweet little beet has gained 5.5 pounds since Oct.! When we got our updated info after getting our confirmed travel dates last week, I was so happy to see that she's starting to thrive.

We didn't get any new pictures like we did the first adoption with R. I was disappointed about that, but we will be able to take pictures of our own soon enough. Plus, if I'm being honest, the fact that she's not smiling in any of the pictures we have makes this momma so sad. So maybe it is a good thing.

I hear from another ET momma that her son is in the hospital in ET with pneumonia. Please pray for this little guy and that his parents are able to get into the first Jan. travel date to bring him home.

And, if I'm being a little selfish, please pray that my T stays healthy. All I want to do is hold her in my arms and know she's ok. My mom said recently that God must really want for her to come home... With pneumonia going around the agency's home and my mom's friend's death, she cannot get home fast enough...

She died.

My mom's friend, K, died about an hour ago. My mom's a wreck but is trying to hold it together. My mom can't really deal with things that are sad (can't watch sad movies or read books with sad endings), so this is going to be hard.

My mom did go see her today, thank God. And K's daughter made it in (she lives across the country) before it happened.

I freaking hate cancer.

Really?

Yesterday we went to my parents' house to celebrate Christmas before they leave to visit my brother next week and we go to Ethiopia.

On the way home, R was hungry and wanted a "nack" as she calls it. I had dried cranberries (pink raisins to her-- "rais, pinnnk, peese Mom") so I handed her the baggie as we were driving down the interstate. It was dark so I couldn't see her very well, and I kept talking to her to make sure she wasn't choking or anything.

About 10 minutes from home, she started sneezing really hard. I said, "are you ok, baby?" and she said, "yeeaahh." The sneezing stopped, and she fell asleep.

When we arrived home, I opened the van door, and to my horror, sticking 1/2 way out of child's nose was a cranberry! She was fast asleep, so I pried the cranberry out of my sleeping child's nose. I looked down at the two cranberries on her shirt. They, too, had been up my child's nose, as they were covered in snot!

No wonder she was sneezing so hard.

This morning when she woke up we had a talk about how we do not stick things up our noses.
(And, yes, I do realize I should have taken a picture.)

Five Days

I have 5 days of work to get through before we go to get E. After that, I have nearly a week until we leave on Friday, Dec. 25!

Sooo, that's more than a little surreal to me. It's insane. After all this time, we are so close to bringing our girl home, and I can't really believe it is actually happening.

I'm starting to worry about R and how she'll do when we're in Ethiopia. I love that little princess so much, and it is going to be so hard to be away from her for the week. Ok, so maybe I'm worried about how I'm going to do when we're away from her!!

I worry, too, about the changes that are going to happen very soon for our family. I cannot wait to bring the baby home, but at the same time, of course that means everything is going to be different.

Change is hard for A, too, especially. He does not do well with change, and this is no exception. I know he loves the baby and is just as excited as I am to bring our sweet little beet home. However, like I've mentioned, A is on the Asperger's spectrum, and that means difficulty with change!

But we'll get through it, and before we know it, we will be on a plane to Ethiopia!

The Faith of a Child

Today, I received the sweetest email while at work...

So, the song “Feed the World” came on and I was explaining to T about how it’s about how many children in Africa don’t get to celebrate Christmas because they don’t have any food or toys or money. She asked if at least Santa went to their homes, and I explained that many don’t have homes for Santa to go to. We talked about this for a few minutes and she disappeared.

A few minutes later she comes downstairs with her bank and asks me to open it and asks me for a baggie. She comes back with the entire contents of her bank in the bag and says she wants to “give it to the poor children who don’t get to celebrate Christmas.” She insists she wants to give it ALL. So, you will find a bag of money in R’s bag to bring with you to ET. On the bag she drew a picture of a child holding a toy “so that M knows what the money is for.” She also enclosed a small toy and a pen so they can “draw on paper.” I am seriously crying.

This is from my friend's 5-year-old daughter. So, tonight, when R gets home, she'll have in her diaper bag the most precious of the things I will TAKE with me to Ethiopia in 2 weeks. I think about the innocence of this beautiful child and her amazing spirit. How her sweet heart breaks for the children of Africa, of Ethiopia, as mine does and how she will be a change for them.

I am so proud of this child and in awe of her faith and compassion. How many of us are willing to completely drain our savings to give to those who have none? How many of us have the faith to believe that what we do, no matter how small, can make a difference for others?

I cannot wait until I see this tiny five-year-old girl again to tell her how proud I am of her, to tell her that I will carry her gift-- literally every penny she has-- with me to Ethiopia and share her heart and her story.

It makes me wonder what you, what I, what we all can do to be a change? What are you willing to give of your time and resources? And what I am willing to give? If T at 5 years old can give everything selflessly and without hesitation, what can I do at 30 years old?

I freaking hate cancer.

I mean, duh, right? Who doesn't?

One of my mom's best friends, K, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999. Since then, it has been an on-off battle, with tumors appearing and disappearing and chemo and radiation...

Those of you who have cancer or have had loved ones who did/do know the routine.

This fall, K's cancer returned with a vengeance. She went from taking an amazing job opportunity in DC and moving away to returning home for more treatments, more fighting.

But this time is different. K's condition has rapidly worsened. She's in the hospital right now and has been since Monday. I don't really know how much fight she has left.

Mom's been dealing with it through avoidance and trying not to think about it. I mean, she's over at K's all the time and is always doing what she can for her. But my mom doesn't do well with things that are hard or, well, horrible and awful.

If/when K dies, it's going to be horrific.

I freaking hate cancer.

Shopping List

Ok, I'm in list-making mode and need some input.

Specifically, I'd love to hear some suggestions about things you purchased while in ET or things you hope to purchase when you travel. Yes, we've been to ET before, but we didn't do so super-hot on the shopping the last time.

So, silly request, maybe, but I'd love to hear your ideas.

Embassy Date Confirmed

We are booked to leave Christmas day to bring our sweet girl home.

Please pray for S that she gets some good news and is also coming with us.

Total travel time to Ethiopia from our airport to Bole: 24 1/2 hours, 19 in the air.
From Bole to our airport: 26 1/2 hours, 21 in the air. (Earth's rotation adds time on the way home...) Yeah, we added it up.


This picture has nothing to do with this post, but isn't it cute? This is R's BFF, N, and she in their matching Christmas shirts. M told them to hold hands, and they just did it! I love these little sweet girls, both soon to be BIG SISTERS! :)

Whatcha Y'all doing on Christmas?

Because A and I are tentatively traveling to ET to bring T home.

We are happy... but it is bittersweet. S did not receive the same good news today, so PLEASE pray for a miracle that she and her husband will also be traveling with us. The agency has not heard about their case yet, although they passed court on Tuesday night with us. We will be heartbroken if we do not travel together.

Two Words...

We passed!

And so did S and D!

Ok, so that's really more than two. :)

Tick-Tock..

I’m super nervous about court tomorrow—tonight, really, while we “sleep” or whatever. I don’t know that I’ll sleep much. I’m just hoping we know before the weekend whether E is “our” girl or not. If she appearing in court, her birthmother is Addis already, and it is getting close to morning. What must she be thinking? Is she scared? Does she regret this decision? Will she respond to the questions we included with the album? Does our letter give her comfort or worry? Will she stop at HH to see T one more time and say good bye? Is there anyone with her for her to lean on? I hope she is not alone.

Will we pass court?

I've gotta say that this part of the adoption process is way more stressful this time than it was with R. Mainly because we know when court is this time. The first time, I slept in blissful ignorance while R's birthmother appeared in court, our paperwork was approved, and we passed on the first try. That was a Friday, and on Monday, my husband surprised me at work with the amazing news.

This time, I've been a ball of stress for 2 weeks since the date was assigned. I'm glad we know when it is, but it is way more stressful.

By tomorrow when we wake up, our fate will be decided. I'm praying for passage and for strength to endure the additional wait when we don't. (I cannot allow myself to feel confident about this.)

I just downed an entire bag of M&Ms without tasting it. Stressed much? Um, yeah.

Please, if you're the praying kind, please say a prayer for us, for our sweet daughter, for her birthmother, and for my friends S and D whose court date is also tonight while we sleep.

30 Days, 30 Posts

Did anyone notice it seemed like I had a lot to say this month? Just for the heck of it, I tried to do a post a day-- and succeeded!

This month has been a month of change and transition, so I'm glad that I have a record of my day to day thoughts as we fell more and more in love with our precious baby, received new pictures of her, found out our court date, and gave thanks for her in our lives.

I don't plan to post daily for a loooonnnng time. With that said, our court date is TOMORROW NIGHT so I'm sure I'll have a lot to say over the next few days.

A couple families (at least I only know of 2) have court tonight while we sleep. Please pray for good news for them.

My Daughter's Birthmother

I have been thinking of her so much today. If she knows about our court date on Wed. and plans to attend, I'm sure she's weighted by it. I know I am.

I am starting to feel the enormity of what she will be doing... making the long trip to Addis, staying overnight in a strange place, appearing in court, relinquishing custody (God willing), seeing pictures of her daughter, and reading the letter we sent.

Today as I was getting dressed and ready to begin my day, it just hit me. And I wept. T's birthmother and I are forever connected, though we will most likely never meet. But in that moment when it felt like my heart was breaking in half, I shared her pain.

Court-- passing court, I should say-- is a beginning for us. The beginning of T legally and wholly being our daughter in the eyes of the Ethiopian government. For her birthmother, it is an ending. The ending of T being her daughter in the eyes of the Ethiopian government. A birth certificate will be issued, with my name as "Mother" and A's as "Father." It will be as though T was never her birthmother's, just always our daughter.

She says good bye forever to her daughter and I say hello forever to my daughter. Our beautiful, sweet, tiny girl...

Tonight my heart is heavy. I am praying that she makes the journey and that we pass court on Wednesday. I am praying for her-- for strength, for hope for her daughter, for comfort of her broken heart. For her to know that her daughter is loved and will be loved forever. I'm praying that she knows her daughter will be ok and that we will do whatever we can to give her a good life.

New Moon: A Review

M and I went to see New Moon tonight along with our husbands. Yes, baby girl is with the grandparents practicing for when we go get her little sister (hopefully soon).

I liked it better than Twilight if we are just talking about the movie. I didn't like some of the changes that were made from what happened in the book. However, of the 4 books, New Moon was the one I liked the least. I think the actors were better in this one, but I would have liked more Edward! (Of course during much of the book he's absent so there you go...)

Overall, it was a good movie, and I'm sure I'll watch it again. (A will most likely buy it for me as a "surprise" when it comes out on DVD. He's so sweet.) The books are sitting over there on my bookshelf, tempting me to read them all over again...

A Blue Van and a Red Van...

When did M and I get so old? Today, we went to the mall for our annual day after Thanksgiving shopping. No, we did not join all you insane people at 4:30 at Wal-mart. We eased into our shopping around 12:30, had some lunch, and then hit the mall.

M has been my best friend since we were in 5th grade and 10 years old. We've been through a lot together, from being children to graduating from HS and having children. We now both drive minivans... and I realize today how "old" we are. M is pregnant with her 4th baby, and her first will be 10 in March. We're married and have husbands we love dearly even though they drive us nuts sometimes.

However, ever since we were mere children, we've always known how to crack each other up and have a good time.

So, yeah, I'm thankful for my husband, my precious daughters, and my family. But I'm also thankful for M. As life has changed, she's always been the constant in my life and me for her. It's an amazing (and comforting) thing to know that no matter what happens, I'll always have her.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

We have so much to be thankful for this year...

I think about our referral of R around Thanksgiving. Two years ago today, I remember thinking it would be my last Thanksgiving childless. Little did I know that our first sweet daughter had already been born! Just a few short weeks later we received her referral, one of just a few magical moments in my life.

This year, I'm the momma of two beautiful daughters, and I am so thankful that my path has brought me to them.

As I celebrate and give thanks for the blessings I have, I miss my precious T and wish she were here with us. I pray that next week will be another magical moment and that I hear the words, "You passed court..."

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

The Great Apple Pie Disaster

UPDATED:
So, my husband made his fancy pie today while I was out in Christmas picture hell at Sears with my friend H and her 2 children. I called him, and he said the drain was clogged. I asked which one, and he told me it was the kitchen sink.

Do you know what that husband of mine did?

Apple peels (AND APPLE CORES!! AUUGGH!). Lots of them. Down the garbage disposal.

Huge clog.

Hence, the great apple pie disaster.

I'm trying not to stress about this. However, this is not the first time he's clogged up the kitchen sink. I just wish he would LISTEN to me about the garbage disposal.

Yay for Thanksgiving Break!

I love that we get Wednesday off as well as Thursday and Friday this week. It is so nice to have the day before Thanksgiving to prepare for the holiday. Not that I actually COOK or anything silly like that, just that I don't have to rush around after work or the morning of Thanksgiving picking up what we need to bring to my parents' house.

A is still on the cooking obsession, and this has extended into pie baking, specifically apple pie. He even bought a fancy-shamancy pie pan and some sort of pie vent thing. IDK... So maybe he'll bake a pie tomorrow, and we can take that, too. One less to buy. We'll see how it goes!

Ok. Here's the deal.

I think I must be just about the cruddiest person on the face of the earth. There was a baby shower for a friend at work today. It was nice... until another girl brought her 9 month old daughter in for the shower.

Sigh.

Now, obviously this baby wasn't a pretty little Ethiopian girl, but she was a baby. One about the same age as my little one. So, instead of being happy for my pregnant friend, I felt miserable. See where the cruddiness comes in?

Who is miserable (and more than slightly jealous) at a baby shower? No point in being sulky at an event whose purpose is to celebrate babies.

But sometimes it is really not fair. The lady with the baby and my pregnant friend get to be with their children from the moment of birth and before that. Whereas, my sweet baby currently is sleeping in a "transitional home" in Ethiopia, some 7000+ miles away.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have it any other way... it is just sometimes really hard to be an adoptive momma. Today was one of those times.

National Adoption Day

It was yesterday, but I was dealing with my sick baby girl so I didn't comment on it. (She is fine today.)

It's strange to think about what my life, and my children's lives, would be like without adoption. I may or may not have bio kids at this point in my life for one thing. A and I may or may not live in a nicer house or any number of things. You get the idea.

But there would be no R or E in my life, something I can hardly imagine. There would be no trip to Ethiopia, a trip that changed my life in many ways besides bringing home our girls.

And my precious babies... I think a lot about what R's life would be like if she had remained in Ethiopia. The thought is painful. My beautiful, precious, spirited two-year-old... I don't know how her life would have turned out. For E, my concentration is on getting her home, but there are parts of her story that would be vastly different if she would remain in ET.

I don't mean imply at all that I have "saved" my girls from Ethiopia. While I am so thankful that they are my daughters, I am well aware that decisions made without their input or consent will have consequences for them, for us, for their birthfamilies, for their birth country.

So, today, yesterday, tomorrow, every day really, I thank God for the gift of adoption in my life. I know the road we've chosen will not always be easy for any of us. But I also know that adoption has shaped, enriched, and changed my life for the better. I'm a momma of two beautiful girls who do not share my DNA but will forever hold my heart.

Happy National Adoption Day!

My (older) Princess is Sick

Poor little curly fry. She woke up this morning (at 10am when A and I woke her up-- normally she gets us up before 6 on Sat. mornings) with a fever, belly ache, and owie teeth. At least that's what she said.

She's been mostly laying on me all day but is up in her bed for a nap right now. :(

New Moon

Ah, yes, my friends, in case you didn't know, I'm a Twilight fan. The second movie came out today... I would love to go see it, but I don't see that happening any time too soon.

I was disappointed with the first movie, but it was still Twilight, still a silly love story that just happens to involve vampires. I'm hoping New Moon is better than the first. We'll see.

If anything it is a chance to regress a little, to be a teenager again. To get my mind off my baby 7,000+ miles away...

Heck, maybe I'll read a Sweet Valley High book next! (M, Kind Smiles, perhaps?? That was classic.)

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear E,

It has been one month since I saw your face for the first time, knew your sweet name, heard your story, and longed to hold you tight. You are also nine months old today.

We are getting closer and closer to bringing you home, little one. I got new pictures of you yesterday from a dear friend who went to Ethiopia on a mission trip. She tells me looking in your eyes melted her heart. She says you're a little shy and wary of new people. She tells me you have a sweet little cry.

And the pictures. Sweet girl, I see your hair is growing, and you look bigger! You have a runny little nose, and you look a little sad especially in one of the pictures. You're sitting on your own-- big girl!-- and you like to play with little toys. I can't wait to hold your hand!

The older you get, the more the transition into our home is going to become more difficult. I'm trying to prepare myself for all this. I know that we've been waiting for you, but you haven't been waiting for us. In your short life, you've experienced more loss than most people.

Princess E, your daddy, sister, momma, and the rest of your friends and family love you so much. While I pray that in 2 weeks, you'll officially and legally be mine, I am preparing for a longer wait.

Regardless, daughter of my heart, know that whenever you do come home, that is what it will be.

Home.

Your last stop.

I love you,
Momma

We have a court date!

We received word right around noon today that our court date in ET is Dec. 2nd. This is the step that has to happen in order for E to legally become our daughter on the ET side. Several things have to happen in order to pass court. First, the birthmother has to appear and relinquish her rights. She will have to travel a long way in order to do this. Second, the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA) must attach their approval to both our dossier paperwork and E’s paperwork. Third, the Central Authority must also attach their approval document.

If we pass court, they must issue a court decree before we can have our embassy appointment to get E’s visa for her to be able to enter the US. The embassy MUST have this no less than 2 weeks before the embassy appointment.

There is an extremely slight chance all this could happen quickly and make the Dec. 28 embassy appointment travel group. It is NOT likely this will be the case, especially since our case manager has prepared to have 2 court appointments because of the difficulty in getting E’s birthmother to appear in court and some recent paperwork issues other families have experienced. If/when we do not pass court the first time, our next court date would be about 3 to 5 weeks after Dec. 2.

My main hope is that E is home before her first birthday on Feb. 19. This seems feasible even with the likelihood of 2 court dates.

I also received word that my friend S whose daughter is with E at HH has court the same day. We are praying that regardless of what happens, we will be able to travel with them.

The Non-Update Update

Just talked to our case manager. No new news on our adoption. I'm glad she's checking in and making contact with me, but honestly, I'd rather she just call when she has new info for us.

She did say she hoped she would be calling us with a court date "very soon" instead of "in a couple weeks" like I've heard her say 2 or 3 times since we got our referral. Progress, my friends, progress!

In happier news, my friend K who was recently in ET sent me an email with an update on my baby girl. The email juxtaposed with the phone call is making the phone call a little more bearable.

Back to School

Ugh. Applied to grad school today.

Educational leadership-- which is the master's one must obtain to get an admin license in my state.

So there you go.

As M said yesterday, I probably am insane, as the semester will start probably right when my baby comes home. But I feel like I need to start so I can say I'm at least working toward the degree/license when the curriculum position becomes open.

I hope I am making the right choice.

Sunday Evening

Sunday. The start of a new week.

I am hoping, so hoping to receive word of a court date this week. I'm feeling so hopeLESS that right now I feel like E will never come home. In my head, I know that she will (someday), but in my heart, I just feel like we still have such a long road ahead of us.

Please, please, I want her home before her first birthday. Please.

Two Year Pictures...

Ugh. Disastrous.

I knew it was going to be bad when she fell asleep in the car 18 minutes before we got to the photography studio. That was her nap, and of course she woke up cranky.

We had dressed her in one of the outfits before we left home. It was cute, but I had also packed two more-- an ET dress and a cute pants and sweater outfit. I would have been happy with either of them and had planned to let her choose which one she wanted to do for her second outfit.

There was lots of clinging to me and crying and screaming at first. And in the middle and the end, too.

They got some good shots, I guess, but only in the one outfit and mostly up close, I'm guessing. The photographer will post them online tomorrow, so I'm hoping that I'm happy with them.

I am holding out hope that my baby will be home in time to get Christmas pictures of some kind taken.

This is extremely unlikely that she'll be home so maybe I should have just done some Christmas shots today, too.

Perspective

I spent the day today with fellow teacher at a conference. It was an eye-opening experience as this co-worker is in a wheel chair... She got in a car accident as a senior in high school and has been in the wheel chair ever since.

I learned a lot about what it might be like to be her. Lots of people look at you, the counter is too high to order your deli sandwich for lunch, you have to around and over and around again to find a ramp or elevator, people tend to talk to you a lot.

Yes, these are all obvious things. I know that. But I have not really "lived" it. And, yes, I'm well aware that walking around with J for one day does not in any way give me the full scope of her life.

However it makes me understand things a bit more, gives me some perspective. It gives me pause to think about how I treat others.

Two more things before I go to bed:
1. If you did not see the pictures of R yet, check out the post below.
2. I'm missing my little baby so much tonight it hurts.

My Baby is TWO!

Below are some pictures of my beautiful daughter from the past (almost) two years. Start at the bottom and work your way up to the top, as there is no way I'm going to try to rearrange them all. She brings such joy into my life, and I am so thankful that I have the privilege of calling her my daughter. She is such an amazing little girl! Enjoy the pictures!

Veterans' Day

My school district is a military district in that approximately 40% of our students are students of military moms and dads. The district is home to a military base, and so I have taught students who have lived all over the world right along with students who have never left our area.

So, yeah, Veterans' Day has a lot of meaning for us as staff and of course our students.

Today we had a nice assembly, organized by a former marine turned teacher. It really makes me think about selfless the men and women who fight and/or have fought for our country are. I see what he, my students' parents, and countless others have sacrificed for our country and for our freedoms.

All I can say is, "Thank you."

She's Precious

Don't you think? My friend M had a little birthday party for R today. (We sent cupcakes, and R came home with a party hat!) Here she is with M's gift to her taking her afternoon nap on the sofa at M's house.

Thank you, M, for making the day special for my daughter. You really are awesome.

(R's 2nd birthday is Thursday.)

"Go Duuu"

Well I learned tonight that R has reached the age in which I can't say anything around her I don't want her to repeat.

"Go duu" translates to "Go dude!"

The other day R was in the van with me when I was trying to get on the highway behind a semi. It was going really slowly as we headed down the ramp and into construction. I exclaimed, "Go dude!" as a I willed the semi to speed up.

Tonight as we were coming home from my friend M's house, we again got onto an on ramp to get onto the highway.

From the back seat, my little girl says, "Go duu! Go duu!"

After asking several options for what this could mean, I finally realized what she was saying.

Oops. :)

Orphan Sunday

What a weighted word. Most of the time, I am able to sort of "forget" that R was an orphan for part of her life. But there's the part of her life that is different from most other people she'll meet. She was born in a country far from here, beautiful and amazing-- yes, but one fraught with disease, hunger, and suffering.

I think sometimes about what would have happened to my beautiful daughter if she had remained in Ethiopia. It is hard, even harder now that I have not one but two Ethiopian daughters.

I often think about the path my life took to become the mother of two...well, I'll just say it... two orphans. One I tuck into bed each night and whose little curly head greets me in the morning right after I wake up to the sound of her little feet running down the hall. The other, a sweet, precious baby whom I've never held or comforted, but who has completely stolen my heart.

My sweet girls. Orphans no longer...

I leave you with a picture of R and me taken at the orphanage where R spent the first weeks of her life before coming to HH and becoming my precious daughter.

I was tagged... like weeks ago.

(Check out the extreme cuteness of the post below if you haven't already.) Here you go. This reminds me of a frame that my mom and I bought and put a picture of my dad in, which says, "Everything you say is fascinating." I'm sure you'll find all this info fascinating, too! :)

1. Where is your cell phone: Sofa.
2. Your hair? Ghastly.
3. Your mother? Carefree.
4. Your father? Retired.
5. Your favorite food? Ice cream.
6. Your dream last night? In Ethiopia.
7. Your favorite drink? diet Coke.
8. Your dream/goal? Family together.
9 What room are you in? Family room.
10. Your hobby? Scrapbooking.
11. Your fear? Not passing court.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Right here.
13. Where were you last night? Home.
14. Something you aren't? Judgemental.
15. Muffins? Chocolate chip.
16. Wish list item? Clean house.
17. Where did you grow up? 50 miles from here.
18. Last thing you did? Put R to bed.
19. What are you wearing? pjs.
20. Your TV? Football.
21. Your pets? Never had one.
22. Friends? Amazing.
23. Your life? So far so good.
24. Your mood? Fine.
25. Missing someone? Umm, E, of course.
26. Vehicle? Minivan.
27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes.
28. Your favorite store? The Children's Place.
29. Your favorite color? Red.
30. When was the last time you laughed? 15 minutes ago.*
31. Last time you cried? 2 hours ago.**
32. Your best friend? M. (since we were 10)
33. One place you go over and over? Work.
34. One person who emails you regularly? M.
35. Favorite place to eat? Local Mexican place.

* At R as she was singing and playing with Beary while I was putting her to bed.
** R and I were watching some video of the first time we met. I hadn't watched it in probably at least a year and had forgotten how emotional it makes me.

Consider yourself tagged if you haven't been already. I can't keep up anymore with who has been and who hasn't.

Some Adorableness to Lighten the Mood...

Last night was a rough night for me. Had a conversation with my case manager and left it just feeling discouraged. I know she can't just tell me what I want to hear to make me feel better for a day or two. I know she's honest and cautious. So I know our conversation was what it had to be, no matter how much I wish it were different.

Before I forget (again) the website for the adoption baby book is: http://www.greerchicago.com/shop/. Type the title into the search, and you'll find it. I got a really nice reply to my "Thank you" comment that I sent to them. The owners are adoptive parents themselves, and the wife sent me a really nice email after I submitted my comment. So, if you're looking for a baby book for your adoption, that would be a good place to start! Let me know if you get it if you like it or not. I haven't started to fill out E's yet because she's not officially mine yet! I don't want to jinx myself.

Ok, onward to the point of this post. Here are some pictures of R as a cupcake. Adorable, no? Enjoy!

Trying on the costume after Momma got it in the mail. Yeah, she likes it! Thank goodness! I was afraid she'd refuse to wear it.

Trick or Treat: Take One-- My parents' town had Trick or Treat a different night than mine did, so R went two times. My dad has been talking since last year about how he wanted to take her, so here she is in her stroller, waiting for "Ahhdad" (Grandad) to take her out!

Cute or what? She did such a great job going from house to house! She would say "treeet pleees" (treat please), "tannks" (thanks), and "bye bye" (complete with a wave) at each house!

Enjoying some of the spoils of her hard work and extreme cuteness!

Sometimes Waiting is..

... really really hard.

I want my daughter home.

I want this ache in my chest to go away.

I want to hold her tight.

I want my family on one continent.

Please do not tell me "It is all God's timing."

Please do not tell me "She'll be home before you know it!" and smile at me.

I know these things. But I don't want to hear them. Not tonight.

Tonight, I'd just rather you tell me that the waiting sucks and let me be.

Luckiest Momma. Ever.

Yep, that's me!!

Do you ever just walk around in awe that your child is actually your child?

I do...

All the time.

Phone Scams

Ugh. Tonight we got a phone call from the "warranty department" telling me that the warranty on our van was set to expire today. First, the chick started to say the wrong vehicle, a Honda instead of a Toyota. I said, "What vehicle?" and she corrected herself.

Then she told me that they've been sending us notices in the mail that the factory warranty was going to expire, but we hadn't responded so that was why she was calling.

I said we'd received no such notices, and she started to get irritated with me. She said they'd been sending them to *the numbers of my street address* but didn't mention the street name.

Again, I asked which warranty this was, and again, she was snippy.

I said there was no way the warranty was expired. She argued that it was.

I told her we'd just bought the van 2 months ago. She said something else, and I repeated myself.

Then, abruptly, the phone disconnected.

Things like that really tick me off. Sure, I didn't fall for whatever scam she was trying to pull, but what if the next person does? It's just wrong. That woman had no right to call my home at 7pm while I'm reading to my daughter and harass me and lie to me.

What types of scams have people tried to pull on you?

Oops

Today A and I realized that R thinks she's going to go LIVE with my parents when her baby sister comes home. (Not just stay with them for a week while we go to get E.)

She's excited about it.

Oops. My poor little sweetie.

So I guess we need to work on talking to her about how there will be 4 in our family and that she'll come home when momma and daddy come home with E...

Suggestions?

November is...

... a great month to pass court!

That's what I'm hoping for. A court date. Soon. Passage on the first try. Pleeeease!

November also is Adoption Awareness Month.

What type of things do you do to celebrate adoption?

(PS-- Adorable pictures of R as a cupcake coming soon. My laptop hard drive is completely full, so I literally cannot download one more picture on it. I am going to try to upload them at work and add them from there. Brace yourself for cuteness. That's all I can say.)