The Scary Noise-- Revealed!

Every once and a while, R will wake up screaming and run down the hall as fast as she can to our room. She's completely terrified. She always says she hears a noise. Each time, I can find nothing that is the source of the noise and have chalked it up to having a nightmare or something.

Last night we were doing the typical bedtime routine of my staying in her room with her for 2 songs. (We play music for the girls until we go to bed. I try to limit it to 2 songs, but usually she can get me to stay for 3. Anyway, I digress...) The baby monitor/night light made a "feedback" sound, not once but twice while I was in the room. It's never done that before while I was in the room, and the second time, I asked her if that was the sound she hears sometimes in the middle of the night.

The look on her face told me it was. As much as my little girl's face can go white, it did. Poor baby! It is a freaky sound, and I can imagine that if one is two years old and hears it in the night that it would be really scary.

Brace Yourself...

I mean, really, can you handle the cuteness?

Enjoy! Oh, and check out this blog for a Junk Posse giveaway. Love her necklaces!

A Year

A year ago, I was totally stressing out. We'd completed everything for our dossier and homestudy and were only waiting on child abuse checks from our state to clear to get on the waiting list for our daughter.

I just remember the overwhelming stress of wanting to be on the waiting list, wanting to have some control, and wanting to feel like everything was going to be ok. We honestly didn't think we'd get a referral until March or April 2010 and travel to bring our girl home at the end of this school year. A year ago today we were allowed to mail our dossier to our case manager for review. I remember that I had so much anxiety about it that I could hardly function. I don't really know why. It was our second time around, and we'd been so meticulous about everything.

What a difference a year makes. Our sweet E has been home over 4 months! That in and of itself is a true and absolute miracle. And she's amazing, just like her sister. I have a different job and am interviewing for another one in 2 days. We've been to Ethiopia again, and again, our lives are changed forever. We have two children who are a lot closer in age than we thought they'd be, and now I am starting to forget what it was like to only have one child in the house.

This morning, when the girls were having breakfast, R was saying something about how she doesn't like it when her sister cries. "When E cry, I cry. Make me sad, Mom," she said. My girls have grown to love and care for each other over these 4 months.

I'm not saying that everything has just worked out perfectly since E's homecoming. We've had to become a family and overcome illness, learning to balance the needs of two children, depression, and sadness in these four months. But we've come through a lot of that. E's sickness is gone, the balancing gets easier daily, the depression is starting to go away with some medication, and sadness is starting to fade.

Adoption is awesome and wonderful, but it is hard and born from loss.

Even still, I look ahead to our next adoption in a few years with excitement, joy, and determination to bring our next child(ren) home!

Pet Peeves and Job Update

I'm, umm, particular about language. I'm not going to necessarily go around correcting everyone, but let's face it. I'm an English teacher by trade and for quite a while, I was paid to grade/correct my students' writing. I love the English language and the art of speaking and writing it.

With that said, here are two language things that drive me INSANE:
1. Pronouncing the word "important" as "in-poor-dant." I heard it pronounced that way in a commercial on the radio as I drove to work this morning.
2. Pronouncing the word "laptop" as "lab-top." Many students in my district say it that way. Heck, even a teacher who was born and raised in this district says it that way.

On the job front, I have an interview next Thursday for that position I posted about several weeks ago. It seems like "they" already have their pick, and it is not me. Honestly, though, I think that's ok. I'm fine with being a coach (it's amazing how much nicer work is now that my child isn't 7,000+ miles away from me; more on that some other post), and this other position in the curriculum office would be an 11 month contract instead of a 9 month one. While this has some advantages, it is a big sticking point for me. I don't know if I want to give up that much time with my girls for the sake of a job.

On the other hand, more months working would mean more income, which would mean more money saved for our next adoption!

Thoughts, y'all? On pet peeves or the job?

Cute pictures of the girls will be posted soon. I know that's why most of you visit the blog anyway, right!?!

International Adoption

I've adopted two children internationally, and although life isn't always sunshine and roses, that doesn't mean it hasn't been successful.

My two girls, R and E, are the light of my life. We have been so blessed by their being added to our family. I cannot imagine our lives without them.

I have thought a lot about this situation with the child sent back to Russia. I don't know the specifics of the circumstances that caused the family to "return" him to Russia. Regardless of what they were, it is heart breaking. And now I see that Russia has closed their doors to Americans adopting from their country. I hate that the completely wrong actions of one family are responsible for this.

Today I read that bloggers are supposed to post about their adoptions. I adore my daughters, adore their birth country, and adore being an adoptive momma.

I'm here tonight to say to whoever is reading this, international adoption works. It works for our family and countless others.

Why is it always at Panera?...

... that I seem to get comments about my kids? Last night, after I picked up R and E at my friend M's house, we met my parents in M's town at Panera for dinner. They've been gone for 2 weeks, and the girls have missed them so much (and vice versa).

We got there fairly early, like around 4:45, which is good, as the place isn't too crowded yet. We get our meal and begin to eat.

A woman comes and sits behind us and opens up a laptop. She starts talking to us and the girls. I can tell she's curious about them big time. Throughout our meal she keeps talking to the girls, my parents, and me.

While R and my mom are in the restroom, my dad mentions something about Ethiopia and how big E is compared to just a few short months ago when we met.

The woman perks up again and starts asking about the girls, like when they came home, etc. She says it looks like they're adjusting well. I say that yes they are for the most part.

She pauses and says, "This may seem nosey, but why was she (E) taken from her birthmother?"

Ok. Umm, yeah, big time nosey.

I said something like, "she wasn't taken from her birthmother. She was relinquished by her birthmother."

(There is a big difference, I am thinking.)

And I say nothing more.

I read somewhere (I think maybe on another blog) about 6 months or a year ago the following:
"Children who are adopted do not owe you their life stories."

That's all I could think about last night as this woman asked a very personal and private question about my daughter's background.

Lady, many of my friends and a lot of my family don't know the full story of my daughter's life. (Heck, I don't even know it all.) What makes you think I'm going to tell you, a complete stranger?

I know this woman probably meant no harm and wasn't thinking when she asked the question, but it is not fair to expect that just because a child is adopted that we need to share (what can be painful) stories of how she came to her family with complete strangers.

My Kids

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself what an absolute miracle it is that I am the mother of two beautiful children.

Like for example, when R tries to unlock the front door and run out of the house without permission and then has a meltdown when I don't allow her to do so and put her in timeout.

Or when E, while sleeping, pees out her diaper all over my shirt and jeans while I'm stuck talking to our very nice but very chatty and oblivious neighbor.

Umm, awesome.

And then, I think about how much my heart longed to be a mother. And how much my heart ached to hold them tight when they were in Ethiopia and we were waiting. I think about the miracle of two small girls, born in Ethiopia to two other woman, now my daughters and greatest gifts.

I sometimes get really frustrated with R. She's stubborn, and so am I. When this happens lately, I stop what we're doing, and I say, "R, how old are you?" And she says, "Twwwwoooo!" in the cutest voice I've ever heard.

Or, I look up from clearing the table and my E smiles her silly girl smile and says, "Cheese!" I forgive her for dropping her full cup of water on my broken toe. (Oh, yeah, I broke my toe falling down the stairs on Easter morning.)

I'm a mom. I'm nothing great and have done nothing special. I'm just trying to do the best I can for them. Sometimes, I get impatient, sometimes I yell, and sometimes I just want to cry, too.

But at the end of day, when I am putting them to bed, I tell them over and over again that I love them, that I'm so happy that their daddy and I adopted them, that they are beautiful and amazing and sweet and funny little girls.

And I know that despite my flaws, I was meant to be their mom. In that, I find comfort.

Uncanny

Does the little girl on the cover of this book remind you of anyone? (Hint, see the little curly-headed princess in the banner above...)Anyway, my husband recently brought this book home for R. He said, "I bought a book for R today, and it is uncanny." What a weird way to describe a children's book, right? At least that's what I thought.

Until I looked it.

Umm, did they model this book off my child without my knowing it? Impossible, as it is has been out since 2002 or 2003... But it sure does look like my "big" girl, and it even has a page with a drawing of two sweet babies that looks like it could have been taking place in my living room.

Anyway, it is hard to find picture books with black children as main characters. If you don't have this one already you should go out and get it. It's one of R's favorites right now and not just because the main character looks so much like her!

What books do you have that you think are great for you, your children, or both?

Love, Simply Put

(See the post below for a few pictures from Easter if you haven't already!)

Today, we had a break through at our house. My R, during lunch, looked at her sister, puckered her lips, and made an "mmmm" sound at her sister.

I realized that she was trying to give her sister a kiss. I pushed their chairs closer together, and my babies gave each other 2 kisses.

Beautiful.

This may seem like no big deal, but it is a huge thing, really. Just 3 months ago, when E first came home, R would have never done this. Heck, she wouldn't have done this even 3 weeks ago.

Also today, A and I were watching the girls play together. (They were "making soup." Adorable.) A said to me, "Can you imagine life without E?"

"No, I can't."

"Can you imagine if we would have waited a few years to adopt again?"

"No," I said, "good call on starting our adoption when we did."


"Good call," he said, "on adopting two girls."

I told him that I knew they would need each other. And they do.

People (especially in the adoption world for whatever reason) have questioned why we decided to adopt 2 girls instead of a girl and a boy. I have two brothers and my entire life, wanted a sister. I thought it would be important for our girls to have same-gender siblings. They are going have experiences no one else in our family will have, being Ethiopian, adopted, and in a transracial family. I know there were many times as a kid and teenager, I wished I had a sister to talk to and wanted that for my girls. Hence, two Ethiopian princesses instead of a princess and a prince. (For now. We're not finished!)

I love that my girls have each other. They are only 15 months apart, and I think this is going to be a very good thing. When we received our referral for E, I must admit that I was concerned that R wasn't even 2 yet and that E was already 8 months. When we started this process, we'd "planned" (like you can plan in adoption--haha) for our girls to be about 2 years apart in age.

It is hard, sometimes, very hard to have a 1- and 2-year-old, but I already see the benefits of their being so close in age.

I love that my "big girl baby" and my husband are so in love with our "little girl baby."

I love how A and I chose to build our family.

Happy Easter!

Today is our first major holiday with E home. Easter was also our first holiday with R home (only 2 years ago!), so it is extra special.

I love this picture of my beautiful little girl playing my grandfather's piano, which is now at my uncle's house.

And my E. Isn't she precious? (She walked 4 steps today! I can't believe how big she's getting.)

The whole family... not the best of the girls, but that's ok.