Tick-Tock..

I’m super nervous about court tomorrow—tonight, really, while we “sleep” or whatever. I don’t know that I’ll sleep much. I’m just hoping we know before the weekend whether E is “our” girl or not. If she appearing in court, her birthmother is Addis already, and it is getting close to morning. What must she be thinking? Is she scared? Does she regret this decision? Will she respond to the questions we included with the album? Does our letter give her comfort or worry? Will she stop at HH to see T one more time and say good bye? Is there anyone with her for her to lean on? I hope she is not alone.

Will we pass court?

I've gotta say that this part of the adoption process is way more stressful this time than it was with R. Mainly because we know when court is this time. The first time, I slept in blissful ignorance while R's birthmother appeared in court, our paperwork was approved, and we passed on the first try. That was a Friday, and on Monday, my husband surprised me at work with the amazing news.

This time, I've been a ball of stress for 2 weeks since the date was assigned. I'm glad we know when it is, but it is way more stressful.

By tomorrow when we wake up, our fate will be decided. I'm praying for passage and for strength to endure the additional wait when we don't. (I cannot allow myself to feel confident about this.)

I just downed an entire bag of M&Ms without tasting it. Stressed much? Um, yeah.

Please, if you're the praying kind, please say a prayer for us, for our sweet daughter, for her birthmother, and for my friends S and D whose court date is also tonight while we sleep.