Hey, I think I read her blog...

So, A and I took the girls to this little farm/mini zoo thing (where a giraffe totally attacked me, btw, but that's a story for another day when I download the pictures) just outside of A's hometown today.

We had just come in and were visiting with some bunnies when a woman comes toward me and asks if we're an adoptive family. I smile and say that yes, we certainly are...

To which, she replies, "I thought so! I think I read your blog!"

Ok, that's so crazy as R would say! I've never actually had someone (well, except at the Created for Care retreat last winter) stop me and tell me that. Definitely not when we're just out like normal.

Turns out, she and her family are in the process of adopting a little girl from ET and are waiting for their embassy appointment! Cool!

She said that she thought we lived in *another state* and seemed surprised to find we lived not far from where she did at all.

Just funny to me what a small world it really is!

Thoughts at Two Weeks In

Just finished my second week of school. It was a lot easier than last week on us all. I'm starting to get to know the personalities of my students-- their strengths and weaknesses, too. Interesting to me that this year my one non-inclusion class is the one that has the greatest needs ability-wise. Mostly, they are sweet kids, and I think it will be a good year. In that regard, I can't complain.

As far as the teaching team goes, it's not as bad as I thought it'd be. I'm still not used to the quiet that comes along with it because everyone is so independent and still unsure of one another. I'm used to bouncing into my friend H's room across the hall a couple times a day, not barely talking to some of the teachers... It's just different.

Transitioning from coaching to teaching is exhausting and draining like I've mentioned before. It was easier this week than it was last week, so my hope is that I get more used it, it will continue to get easier. I'm starting a (short) novel in a couple weeks (Seedfolks), do my Poe unit in Oct., and start A Long Walk to Water after that... I've never taught either book so this is going to involve creating entirely new units. This is sort of intimidating, but I'm also enjoying planning for something new and working the Common Core standards into my curriculum so I'm ready when my state transitions to it in a couple years. I know that seems like it is far off, but because I'm already doing new things, I figure I might as well start now. Oh, yeah, I should also probably include some writing into my curriculum as well...

My research grad class is finished as of today. I have the weekend free of classes, and then the fall semester starts Monday. I'm taking one class and beginning my internship. I do not know how I am going to be able to find the time to complete the required hours for the internship and am trying not to have a panic attack about it. But, my option was to do it now or wait an entire year. I don't know what the next year has in store for my family, so I thought it best to go for it now instead of delaying it a year and having another entire year of grad school to go. It will be hard, but I've delayed this degree and license long enough, and I think the time is now for me to get it finished.

Gets Under my Skin

I was at the local grocery store this evening. I needed some hand soap for R, and as I walked to where it was, I passed the AA hair care section. Honestly, I'd never thought to look at what the grocery store had on its shelves in the way of AA hair care. The local megastore and Target are nearby. I've looked at the AA stuff at both multiple times, and they actually have less than the grocery store does!

But that's not really my point.

As I was looking at what was on the shelves, two store employees walked by me.

One glanced at one of the products' names and made some cruddy comment to his co-worker about it. They both laughed as they continued on their way by.

Now, these boys were high schoolers, I'm guessing. Kind of dorky looking, really. I know they didn't mean anything by it, but it bugged me. A lot.

Sigh. I guess it isn't that big of a deal, but it just bothered me.

Convo with R

Today I had the girls' pictures taken in 2 of their Ethiopian dresses. I try to do a late summer picture in them yearly. I like to send them to their birthfamilies in their yearly reports required by the ET government as well as in the bi-annual photobooks I send them. I just want the girls' 'Opia families to know that we will never forget their roots.

R today was of course talking about her 'Opia mom on the way home from the pictures. We did a few with a jebanna (ET coffee pot) and coffee cups-- the ET version of a tea party I guess-- a pretend ET Coffee Ceremony with R and E. She was talking about how she thought her birthmom would like the pictures.

Then she said, "Mommy, when I am a 4 girl (meaning, when she's 4), can we go Opia and visit my Opia mom?"

I had to tell her no. I told her that it costs a lot of money to go to Ethiopia and that we couldn't go next year.

In truth, I want to take the girls to ET someday for a visit, but it needs to be when they're older. And, in truth, today's been a really hard day with R-- acting out, tantrums, defiance. She's asleep now, and as I have time to think about our day today, I can't help but wonder if my sweet girl is missing her Opia mom today.

It is so hard to tell sometimes if her behaviors are just typical toddler/that's her personality behaviors or if they are adoption-related.

First Day of School

If you're friends with me on FB, you'll see that I posted that my first day went well. And for the most part, it did on the surface. My classes aren't too bad. I think the kids will be ok except for one little group of chatty girls who need to move seats and a grumpy boy I'll have to win over. All in all, writing abilities are better than what I've had in the past, and the kids all seem pretty sweet. A few of them even grinned at my jokes (I'm pretty mean on the first day, so I guess no one would dare laugh).

I'm structuring my lessons totally differently than I have in the past, so the amount of work is overwhelming right now. STRESSFUL. I don't know how I'm going to balance it all-- work, home life, grad school... Tonight I worked on tomorrow's lesson until I realized I'd been spacing out for at least 5 minutes so I decided to call it a night. The reason for the structure change is that since I left the classroom 2 years ago, my perspective has changed, expectations have changed, and the reliance on data to make decisions has become even more intense. I don't think I was too crappy of a teacher before, but I do think that being a curriculum coach for 2 years has definitely allowed me to grow professionally.

I get along with everyone on my team, but we're definitely lacking the camaraderie that I'm used to in a team. I call our end of the hallway upstairs "The Tomb" because the lights aren't turned on in the hall until right before the students come in (saving electricity, of course!), and no one talks to one another... Dark and quiet... Sigh. I hope it gets better because today was hard in that regard.

The first few weeks back are hard. I'm sure things will get better once I get into a routine again, stop missing my babies so much during the day, and feel like I can get a grip on my lesson planning.

Oh, did I mention I had a bloody nose right before homeroom while doing hall duty? AND, I have a huge blister on my right heel from those stupid shoes I wore today? Yep, I'm super cool. I know you all wish you had me for 8th grade language arts.

Summer's Over

It is amazing how quickly everything gets into a routine when I return to work. I spent yesterday working in my room, and today was the official workday. The kids come on Tuesday, and we have a day of meetings Monday. I was ready for the weekend today!!

The room's almost ready... I guess the question is, am I? I haven't had my own classroom for 2 years... I feel a little rusty! I found an old file that has my short stories/elements of literature unit, which is how I plan to start the year, and it feels like another person wrote it.

I am also not entirely certain how to teach without integrating it with social studies. My friend H has always been the social studies teacher on my team, and we did lots of co-planning. However, we've been separated, so I'm going to be working with a different social studies teacher. She's fine, but she's only taught 7th grade curriculum, not 8th, so I don't know this will work. Plus, umm, she's not H! It's just really weird.

Moving into my classroom has been killing my left shoulder/arm. I did something to the cartilage in my shoulder years ago, and periodically it'll flare up again. Everything involved with moving has been bad for it. Oral pain meds don't really do anything. For example, the shoulder pain yesterday afternoon was almost unbearable so when I got home I took four ibuprofen (I've never taken that many at one time) and fell asleep. It did absolutely nothing for the pain. I finally had the idea of something topical instead, and A actually had some icy-hot. I put it on, and it actually helped!! I mean, it still hurt, but I no longer felt like I would pass out from pain.

Today, it's hurting pretty badly again, so I need this weekend to recover, and luckily, I don't have any more heavy stuff to move.

And that's that. It's 8:49pm, and I'm exhausted. Early bedtime for me tonight.

Transition

Today's really my last day of summer. I don't technically have to work tomorrow, but I'm going to spend the day preparing my classroom, which is still a completely chaotic mess. I've tried to go in a few days with the girls, but it is hard to get much done with them running around. Anyway, tomorrow they are going to the new sitter's house, as well as on Friday, which is the actual official start back to school workday.

We've been talking about the end of summer for about a week or 2 now with the girls. Today has not been a good one for R (although right now she's napping, thank goodness). She's anxious and acting out and doing things on purpose to push my buttons. After about the 800th thing, I just picked her up and held her. I said, "honey, are you sad that Mommy has to go to work tomorrow?"

With that, the poor dear threw her arms around me and burst into tears. My poor girl! Transition and change is hard on her. One of the first things they told us about her when we were in Ethiopia to bring her home was that she liked routine. Even at 3 months of age, that was very clear immediately. Today, I just held her and told her that I had to return to work even though I didn't want summer to end either. I told her we'd still have plenty of time together each day to do fun things and spend time as a family.

I know she's also nervous about going to the new sitter. Even though she didn't like the old one (and we had some issues with her!) she's been asking if she's going there. I think she'll end up really liking the new sitter, but I also know this next week or two will be difficult as we make the changes.

I know change is always hard on little ones, but fall is an especially hard time of year for R. Each fall she's been home, we've experienced some regression, sadness, and acting out on her part. She also usually starts to have major sleeping issues. Poor baby.

Back to School

I found out this week that I'll definitely 100% be going back into the classroom this year. I was pretty upset (to put it mildly) on Tuesday. I'd been led to believe there was another position I'd get-- and that's not going to happen. However, with the district in the financial situation it is, I understand why the position will not be created. I just was so hoping...

I've spent a lot of yesterday and today at school moving stuff from my office into my classroom. My intervention specialist came yesterday and helped me do bulletin boards. Last week, I went to a teacher store and purchased all new paper, borders, and posters for the bulletin boards because I decided it was time for a fresh start. I love the way they look-- they are bright and cheerful and very different from what I've used in the past. (In my previous classroom, I had the same stuff up for like 4 or 5 years. Yes, I know that sounds pretty bad!)

I'm taking time to thoughtfully organize all my stuff and have purged some stuff I simply don't need. I'm thinking about new novels/books to teach and where they will fit with the standards... I can't say that I'm happy that I have to go back to grading papers and doing lesson plans at night (something I struggled with balancing with my role of being a mom before I took the coaching position).

In fact, I despise grading papers. I find it tedious and awful. I love working with students and always enjoyed for the most part the day to day tasks of teaching minus paper grading. It is so time consuming! And it is hard to sit there and grade while your children are begging you to play with them or read them a book or whatever. Plus, with grad classes now, I just don't know how I will find the extra now-required once more time to grade.

I'm also not looking forward to having a rigid daily schedule again. For the past 2 years, it has been very flexible, and I've been able to for the most part plan my day. Now, I'll be back to scheduling bathroom breaks and picking my class up from lunch, etc.

I guess I really have mixed feelings. I'm so relieved to not be returning to the building I worked in last year. I'm thankful that I have a job in a time which teaching jobs are scarce in my state. But I didn't want to return to the classroom. I'm feeling nervous about the team I'll be on... Ugh, I don't know.

I guess the bottom line is just that I really wanted that other job, and it is going to take time to get used to being in my own classroom again.

Workday is Aug. 12, so I need to get my act together quickly!!