Summertime and the livin' is easy...

Oh my gosh, I am finished with school for the year!! I am so relieved to have the year over. I am looking forward to spending time with my precious girls; that's for sure.

R is going to go to dance class a few times in the next few weeks. I can't wait for that cuteness! She's so excited.

We're planning a trip to Wisconsin to visit some family and spend time in the Northwoods (and of course plan to stop in Milwaukee to visit the M family, who we traveled with!). My friend H and I are going to take her 2 girls and my 2 girls to her in-laws in Alabama, too.

Mostly, though, I'm just looking forward to the more relaxed pace of summer. I think it's been hard on E the past few weeks bouncing from sitter to sitter since my friend M couldn't watch the girls after her baby was born.

And now E is awake from her nap so that's all I have to say for now!

The Greatest Thing EVER!!

My BFF and I are going to the opening night of "Twilight!" Not only that, but the theater is going to show the first two movies before the premier!! I am so ridiculously excited that it is insane!!!

Yeah, I'm totally a teenage girl. :)

Kids are Awesome

A conversation with R tonight as I was trying to put her to bed:

R: Want Fi-Fi (a pink poodle stuffed animal) mom. Me get her.

M: I don't know where she is, honey. We can find her tomorrow.

R: Me know Mom. Me get her.

M: Do you know exactly where she is?

R: Yeah, yeah, Mom, me get her.

M: Ok, go get her. Be quiet, though, don't wake up your sister.

R: K Mom.

R goes downstairs to get her and, amazingly, comes back with it.

R: Found Fi-Fi Mom!!

M: Good job, R!! Mommy is so proud of you.

R: Found Fi-Fi on mountain!!!

M: You found Fi-Fi in the big pile of stuffed animals??

R: YEAH Mom!! Fi-Fi up HIIIIIGGGGGHHHHH!!

It's really much cuter if you could actually hear my precious 2-year-old's voice...

Romance vs. Reality

I feel like sometimes I have an overly-romantic view of Ethiopia. Any of you who have been there or anywhere else in Africa feel that way sometimes? Or even if you haven't been there, do you ever feel that way?

Trust me. Things I saw in Ethiopia changed my life in ways I am not even sure I know yet. But at the same time, I also have a view of the country based on its history and culture and the fact that I am blessed with 2 precious Ethiopian children.

I know that the people of Ethiopia are kind. I know that parents and families love their children and prize them. But I also know that there are children in some parts of Ethiopia who are killed because their top teeth grow in before their bottom teeth.

I know that there are so many people who live on so very much less than I do. I try, in my mind, not to romanticize this by thinking they're all living happier, simpler lives. I'm sure some of them are. But I also know that many many people there and in other parts of Africa do not know where their children's next meal will come from.

And I know that most children who come home to the US from Ethiopia adjust well and are happy. I want to believe that all the orphanages are safe places for children until that happens. But I also know that the reports of abuse (older kids to younger)-- both physical and sexual-- are enough to make me sick.

Ethiopia.

Its beauty haunts me.

But do you know what? Its poverty and sadness haunt me, too.

Lots of jumbled thoughts today. Not even sure if this makes sense...

Ethiopian Culture Camps

Have you considered attending one this summer? We went to one in our area (well, really I run it along with 3 other ET mommas) this past summer, and it was an amazing experience. I think culture camp is so important to families like mine. What other time of the year can you get together with Ethiopians, Ethio-Americans, etc? And build a sense of community for your children who are adopted (as well as their siblings)?

Here are some links to info about culture camps around the country:

http://www.heritageandculturecamp.org/

http://www.africancradle.org/camp10.html

http://eakc.blogspot.com/

http://ethiopiakidsculturecamp.blogspot.com

http://www.ethiopianculturecamp.org/

http://heritagecamps.org/afam.html (This one is for African kids, not just specifically ET kids.)

And here is more information from the Adoptive Families magazine website...
http://www.adoptivefamiliesmagazine.com/calendar.php?cal=camp

Are there camps in your area? If so, you should go! Not that I'm promoting any of the above ones necessarily... I mean, I only have personal experience with one of them... but they all sound like great opportunities to connect with families that might look like yours does or will look like soon! Yes, I know. They're a little expensive. But so are other family vacations.

Anyway, would you leave me a comment and a link if you know of any others I missed?

The Passage of Time

(Day 6 of our trip to bring E home is below if you missed it.)

Today marks E's 15 month birthday and 7 months since our referral. A typical Monday afternoon turned into a life-changing day.

I know I've talked about that day before so I'm not going to go into again. I will tell you that the first time I looked at E, I didn't know what to think. She was not at all what I expected.

1. She was already 8 months old.
2. Her story was so very different from R's.
3. She didn't look at all like I expected.

Let me explain. First, when our case manager told me that she was 8 months old, I was surprised and not totally happy. We got R's referral when she was 3 weeks old. At 8 months, R had been home for almost 5 months, etc. Bringing a child home who could be a year or older (I never thought the process after referral would go as smooth as it did) was a totally different challenge than bringing home a tiny 3 month old.

Linked to that, E's being 8 months old meant she had a lot more "lost" history than R did. E lived with her birthfamily for almost 8 months. I have no idea (well, I can guess based on what I do know and based on what I know about life in her region of Ethiopia) really what her life was like during that time period. This is something I don't think I will ever get over.

Lastly, while we were waiting for R's referral, my friend H had a dream about her and told me what she "saw" as far as what R looked like and things like that. And she was spot-on. This time around, she told me again what she "saw" for our referral. And when I saw the first picture of E, she looked NOTHING like I had expected her to look. I have to admit it sort of shocked me at first.

In the past 7 months, E has gone from a photograph or 3 and bio info on paper to my precious daughter. This time has not always been easy. But in this time, I have grown to completely adore my daughter and cannot imagine my life without her.

So, my E, I love you so very much. You are such a blessing to our family. You are the sweetest child I've ever met. Before we started the process to bring you home, I had fears that adding another child to our family may not be the right choice... But you, my girl, were the perfect choice, at the perfect time, in the perfect way.

Ethiopia Trip: Day 6: A Low-Key Day and Cultural Dinner

December 30, 2009

A Quiet Day-- so far 9:30am

Today is a low key day as we don't have a bunch of things to do. We have to be at {our agency's home} at 1pm to get the baby's paperwork, "the envelop that must not be opened," and passport with a US visa inside it. Tonight at 7 is the cultural dinner. A (agency's director) says it is only 40 minutes to an hour so I think we'll go. {NOTE: the first time we were in ET, the cultural dinner was several hours... We were all exhausted by the time we got back to the hotel, and had it been the same restaurant, I would have opted out of going. It was just way too much.}

T did well last night, only waking a couple times and for not very long. She woke at 5:34 for a little bit of milk but fell back asleep until about 7:30 or so. Another reason why it is so nice that we didn't have to do anything this morning.

Right now, T is napping, and I sent A to the lobby to try to charge his cell phone with the computer in the lobby. He brought this multi-charger thingie to cut down on how many chargers we brought, but it was fried when he plugged it in. Oh, well. Of course this means his video camera is also completely dead. He brought the wrong USB cable for it so he's going to see if he can get the right one from someone else. I really hope so so that we can do a little more filming, especially bringing T into the house for the first time.

As I write this, I'm also watching life go on as normal in Addis. Across the street, a woman plays with her son in the courtyard of their home. She wears a canary yellow dress, and there is laundry on the clothesline. Buses and cars dodge around one another trying to avoid an ever-growing pothole in the road. A huge hawk flies low in the sky, and a cat scurries across the rusty tin roofs of a home. The sun peeks out of the clouds on occasion, and it is a hazy day. Women with gauzy clothing walk down the street, heads covered, of course, and the natellas have bright, rich embroidery. Brilliant red, deep sea blue, sparkling turquoise have been my favorites.

Although I love Ethiopia, I am ready to be home. I miss my R. I miss hot showers and being able to flush toilet paper. I miss my soft bed and cozy little house. My new daughter, A, R, and I need to start our life as a family of four. T needs to grow into my sweet E. She needs to get healthy and see a doctor about the "fungus" on her head. (Although a doctor in our group says it is probably more like a viral thing.) Her grandparents need to meet their new granddaughter.

Am I really in Ethiopia and bringing another child home? This feels as if I am in a dream...

Afternoon--3:40pm

We now have T's passport and paperwork. We went to {our agency's home} for the last time as they are completing their move today to the new place, which we'll see tomorrow. A talked to us about what a miracle it is that these 12 children are in our arms and are going to be in the US. As she said, "They are the prize of Ethiopia," and they truly are. She talked about how most of them were born in the middle of nowhere and are healthy and going home. Without prenatal medical care, without doctors, without so much. Many born in houses... without HIV. She also talked about how we have to be ambassadors for the children of Ethiopia.

T is awake!

The First Poop!-- 5:20pm

As we sat in the lobby a little bit ago, T pooped for the first time since being with us! Awesome baby girl!

Before that, I could tell she was feeling better as she was playing with A, laughing, and making other noises. Thank goodness!Tonight is the cultural dinner, which I'm looking forward to and dreading at the same time. It was really hard on R when we were here the last time. However, A says it is only 40 minutes or an hour instead of 3 so I hope she's right and T does just fine!

I'm Tired-- 10:12pm

Cultural dinner was fun but really too much for me. I'm sooo tired. T did well as long as A held her. She didn't want me at all and cried when I took her.

The food was good, and the dancing and singing was a lot like the last time we were in ET. T was almost singing along at a couple points, which was adorable.

Tomorrow we visit {our agency's} new home and prepare to leave. Oh, lord how ready I am to go home!

Babies are Awesome

In less than a week and a half, three of my friends have had four babies!

My friend M had sweet A this afternoon at 1:28... I haven't been able to see her yet as my husband is out of town tonight, and I can't bring the girls to the hospital with me (they aren't allowed in the room). So, I will have to make do with pictures posted on facebook until tomorrow...

I hope I can stand the wait!

Mother's Day

This is what it is all about...

The week ends on a high note.

My sweet friend L had her first child last night, a perfect baby boy! She and her husband (and baby!!!!) live over 3 hours from my house, and I cannot wait for the school year to be over so I can go meet baby C!!

I would love to post a picture or two of the happy family and perfect baby boy, but I just can't. Instead, I'll show you a couple pictures of the nursery, which L designed and should be in a magazine or something...

Ironically, L and my friend A who had twins last week are the first of my friends to have boys. Literally everyone else has girls! And my BFF will be having her 4th girl any day now. (Come on, Baby A! I can't wait to meet you, too, sweetheart.)

Let Me Explain a Little

Thank you to those of you who read my earlier post and commented and/or are praying for me. I truly appreciate kind words and can feel your prayers.

The first 2 years of my career I taught high school and hated it. I almost gave up teaching entirely until by the grace of God, I was hired in my current district, where I've been for 7 years. My original plan was to teach one year, save money, and go back to school to do something else.

However, when I got to my current district, I fell in love with teaching and felt supported at my job. I loved teaching 8th graders; they were the perfect age for me. This year, I took on a new role in my district, that of an instructional coach. This primary purpose of this position is to improve teaching and learning, provide on-site professional development for teachers, and to analyze and use data to help make instructional decisions.

The catch is that I now work in two buildings. I split my time between the building that has been my home for 6 years and another one, one which I haven't felt comfortable in from the beginning this year. But I've tried to do my best.

Anyway, this week I had to give a survey about my performance over the course of the year as well as the coaching program in general. (The other coaches, who all work in their home elementary buildings-- just one building per coach, did the surveys while I was on leave with E.) I passed the surveys out on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, I had some surveys in my box.

And they were not nice. They had mean, nasty, and just plain hurtful comments. For example, "maternity leave?????" was one. Really? You're faulting me for taking time off to have a child? And several other things. I know not all the comments are not personal towards me; people are dissatisfied with both the building principal and the district's curriculum director. However, many of them are, and it is humiliating and embarrassing to think that people think of me that way.

All those insecurities and feeling of inadequacy I felt in my first two years teaching are back. All those things I spent 6 years trying to repress, well, they're all right there at the surface.

I will say not all the surveys were mean and nasty. I did receive several that I feel are fair and that truly do reflect my job performance and give good suggestions for how I can improve and build upon the coaching program for next year.

Also, I found out yesterday that I did not receive that position I interviewed for a couple weeks ago. Honestly, that's ok with me. Although it would have been really nice to escape this building where I feel like everyone hates me, it would have been really difficult to give the time and energy the job requires with two babies at home.

Overall, I am looking forward to the end of the school year and have arranged my schedule so I only have to be in "that" building for 3 1/2 days out of the remaining 15 left before summer break.

Thank you for listening.

Blah

Do you ever have one of those days (ok, one of those weeks) in which it seems like everything makes you cry?

Yeah, that's how I feel.

This has been a horrible week.

Seems like forever ago...

... that we were put on the waiting list for our second baby girl! That was one year ago today.

Wow, times have changed.

If you woulda told me a year ago that our daughter would already be home 4 months at this point, I would have just laughed. I mean, come on!! We were on the list at sweet number 33, which seemed insurmountable after entering the list at 4 (!!) for R's adoption.

A year ago, my baby was 3 months old and living with her birthfamily. I wish I could know what her life was truly like then.

I know what our life like. We had an 18 month old baby girl and had the expectation that we'd wait a full year or so before getting our referral. We were cool with that. That's why we'd started when we did... because it was going to take FOREVER to bring our second home.

I remember calling and texting our family and friends with the exciting news. I remember the joy of being at the next stage and feeling at peace with that. I was ready for the agency to be in charge instead of us and to really try to put our next baby girl out of my mind for 10 months to a year.

My prayers would have been so different had I known that E was already alive, out there, living in ET with her birthfamily.

I think about the mountains that had to have been moved for us to become E's parents, and I am in awe. Oh, baby girl, thank god you are home.

Four Months Ago...

...A, E, and I were on the last legs of our trip home from Ethiopia. We were probably having lunch while E slept on me in the carrier. And, wow, things have changed in those 4 short months!

Since coming home, E has changed from a stranger-baby who wasn't a fan of mommy to my precious E-poodle. While I know that I did in fact love her as soon as we met, I know now that I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE her! And she loves her family now, too.

She's gone from weighing 18 pounds, being sick, and wearing 6-9 months clothing to weighing at least 24 pounds, being healthy, and is somewhere between 18 months and 24 months clothing.

And, to celebrate being home for 4 months, she's really officially walking as of Thursday night. She'd done some walking before then, but now she's walking everywhere!

Oh, E, my precious, sweet, darling daughter, I am so thankful for you. You are joy, sweetness, smiles, and happiness all rolled into one.

I love you forever.

(PS-- Is there anyone who is still interested my finishing the story of our ET trip? I think I left off on day 5.)