I know I shouldn't complain but...

... it's just SO annoying!

I took R to Vacation Bible School today. There was an older (white) woman there who was very interested in the girls. She said to me, "Oh! You have some very beautiful girls with you this morning!!!!" in the tone I knew she was fishing for more information. I didn't bite.

She talked to the girls a little bit more and then finally, she says, "So, are they yours??" with that look on her face.

I said, "My girls? Are you asking me if my daughters are my daughters?" with a confused look on my face. "Of course they are!" I said as I walked away.

Oh, wait, I forgot. She then told me she has a friend who adopted a little girl "from SOME African country" and how she found ONLINE (what a novel idea!!) a site for white moms about how to do black girls' hair. That's right. And then I said, "oh, that's nice!" and THEN walked away. My bad.

Sigh. I know, I know. We need to be the poster mom and children for adoption. I should talk to her with kindness, blah, blah, blah. It just gets old.

Really old.

Yes, I know! You don't need to tell me I asked for it when A and I decided to adopt transracially! Yes, I know!! People are just curious and mean no harm!! Yes, I know!!! She was just curious about my girls and didn't mean to be rude!!! I'm totally aware of all that!!!!

It just drives me insane! Insane in the membrane! Insane in the brain!!

It's my blog!! It's my life!!! I can complain if I want!!! I wasn't rude to the woman. Not one iota!!!!

I would just like FOR ONCE to go somewhere and NOT attract attention and comments and questioning stares.

Sigh. Yes, I'm also aware that that's simply NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I get it. I've been a transracial adoptive mom for over 3 years now. I know!

On a side note, R had a great time at VBS. At the end of it, all the kids-- all ages-- gather in the main part of the church. A man who's sort of in charge (maybe the pastor-- IDK-- not my church) was talking to R's group and R gave him the picture she drew. As he did his closing remarks, he mentioned something about the picture and he wanted to thank the little girl who gave it to him although he didn't know her name.

Do you know what my girl did? In front of like 200 kids and adults, she stands up with her arms waving and says, "It was me!! My name is R!!! Hey guy, my name's R!!!!"

She's definitely not shy!

Hey, at least this post ends on a good note!

You are MY daughters...

... but you are theirs, too. And you were their daughters first.

Today, I had my first "real" conversation with R about her birthfamily and her adoption story. E was there, too, but we were driving in the van at the time, and she was busy looking through a book she brought with her.

I was heading with the girls to my friend H's house for her to watch them while I went to a culture camp meeting. R said something about returning to ET to bring more children (2 more sisters and a brother to be exact-- as she said, "because I like having a lot of little kids around!").

We talked a little bit about going to Ethiopia. She said something like, "But E and I don't have to go back there to live."

I said, "No, you and sister are Mommy and Daddy's little girls. We will never send you back to Ethiopia. We are a family forever. You will live with us until you are a grown up. We might go to Ethiopia someday as a family to visit or you might want to go there when you're big, but we're never sending you back to ET."

She then started talking about her 'Opia Mom and why she was adopted. We talked about how her birthmom couldn't care for any baby and that she made a plan... Some of what we shared is specific to her personal story and E's personal story, so that will stay private... We talked about how Mommy thinks her 'Opia Mom must have really loved her and that she is allowed to love her 'Opia Mom, too.

She then said something that broke my heart...

My 3.5 year old daughter said with tears in her eyes and the "I'm about to cry lip" sticking out:
"Sometimes we just really miss our 'Opia Moms."

Sigh. I said something like, "oh, honey, of course. Of course you and E can miss your 'Opia families." I was trying to blink back the tears as I said it.

With that, we pulled into H's drive, and she was ready to talk about what she was going to do there. The moment was over.... for her.

But it gets me thinking, as I do often, about my girls' families in Ethiopia. And about how no matter what A and I do-- no matter how great of parents we could possibly be-- our daughters are always going to be incomplete.

There is such tragedy in that.

Oh, darlings, I'm so sorry. Sometimes I wonder what we have done, what their birthfamilies have done...

And no matter how much I love them, no matter that I am their mother-- they have other mothers and families who they miss and long for.

Ways to Avoid Housework

1. Check facebook.

2. Catch up on emails.

3. Go through the ads in the Sunday paper/clip coupons.

4. Text your bff.

5. Order things for the upcoming culture camp.

6. Work on stuff for grad class.

7. Paint your toenails.

8. Watch "George" with your girls.

9. Have lunch.

10. Call your mom.

11. Read a book on the Nook. (That lasted about 5 minutes.)

12. Stare out the window.

13. Discuss why we're not watching TV right now with your 3 year old.

14. Get one kid dressed. (Other still in pjs at 3:15 pm.)

15. Complain about how hot out it is this week.

16. Read blogs.

17. Make appointment for eye examine for before insurance goes up.

18. Go to the post office.

19. Look for your favorite (and missing-- thanks R!) pen.

20. Eat a peanut butter cup.

21. Read the girls books.

22. "Sing the story of Pooh" to the girls.

23. Watch the girls put on a dance show.

24. Help R name her newly-found stuffed animal ("Baby" is what she decided on. Or "FiFi" depending on what minute it is. She already has a pink poodle named FiFi, so I am maintaining that it could get confusing.)

25. Call and pay your bill for your grad class.

26. Talk to your mom again.

Any other ideas? This has been my day so far. Have I mentioned I HATE housework? (But I sure do love the summer!!!)

Curve Ball

You can't predict the future. This I know well.

You can't always rely on the ones you put your most faith into.

Sometimes life is just really, really hard.

Today, life threw a curve ball at one of my oldest and dearest friends. The story isn't mine to tell, but I sure would appreciate some prayers for this situation.

R-isms and E-isms

My girls have been cracking me up lately. Here are some of the funny things they've been saying this summer for your amusement:

From R:

1. I'll be good, as good as moonlight.

2. (About her sister): I love her sooooooooo much! (As she hugs E so hard she falls to the floor.)

3. (When asked how she knew the sequence of traffic lights after explaining it correctly to me): Because I've only seen it like 5 times or a million!

4. We've been in the car for 5 YEARS!

5. When I am a 5 girl I won't be wild. Just 3 girls {girls who are 3 years old} are wild.

6. (After dipping a carrot stick into yogurt and then ketchup and taking a bite): Yum! Tastes like chicken!!!! {Where did she even hear that?}

7. (To the old people sitting on their porch the next block up): My name is R and I can jump high into the sky and do a flip!

From the E-poodle

1. My make sandwich and put it in my backpack for my grandmother! (She says "My" instead of "I" for everything-- adorable.)

2. I'm da baby sister. R is da big sister.

3. My want to brush you hair. It very messy. {Thanks, baby!}

4. (After baby dance class): Da lady turn Cinderella up TOO LOUD! {They're doing a dance that goes along with the song "A Dream is a Wish."}

5. (When she wants out of her crib in the morning): Mommy! Mommmmmyyyyyy! My awake! My want out! My want out! Mommy! Wake up!!!! It morning! My want out!!!!! Get up! Get up! Get up!