YAY!

The child abuse checks are in, and the homestudy will be sent to the agency today... meaning waiting list number most likely on Friday!! YAY!

Checks

The social worker says that we will most likely have the checks completed sometime in the next 24 hours...

So does that mean we'll be on the waiting list some time this week??? I sure as heck HOPE that's what it means!!

Ok...

We have been told by our social worker that the State is going to do our child abuse background check this week. I was instructed by her to "bug" her to bug them on Tuesday if we haven't heard from her before then.

Can you guess what the first thing I'm going to do on Tuesday morning is???

I'm hoping that a week from now, we will be on the waiting list and our dossier will be making its way across the country for authentication!


PS-- Some cutie pictures of R to come SOON! I just don't feel like uploading them to my computer and then to blogger tonight. :)

Thank You

Dear Y,

(Y is R's birthmother.) Today we had a such a fun day with R. We went to a friend's daughter's soccer game, played outside, and took R to an outdoor mall with a fountain kids can play in. We dressed in a beautiful bright turquoise swimming suit and a little hat. She was a little afraid of the fountain but loved playing near it and being around other little kids. However, yesterday she went down a "big kids" slide all by herself, laughing and smiling the whole way down!

I want to tell you that R is amazing, bright-eyed, and beautiful. She is my greatest joy, my most treasured gift. Thank you for allowing us to be her parents. I know it must have been such a hard decision to choose adoption for your firstborn child. However, I want you to know that there is a not a day (an hour really) that goes by that I do not think of you and the great honor we have been given in raising our beautiful miracle of a child.

Please know that R is the happiest of children and has the most amazing spirit. She is so brave, just as her birthmother is. She is a beautiful, shining example of all that is right in the world. She is precious and adventurous.

These words are not enough, but they are all I have: thank you.

Love,
M

The Verdict is In!...

Our dossier is 100% good to go! That's really wonderful news, yes indeed!

I'm feeling better (than I did this morning) but am still feeling the stress.

I'm hoping that by this time next week, we'll be on the list, and my anxiety is gone.

Thank you for your prayers and positive vibes. I sure do need them, especially this morning!!

Anxious

I don't know why, but I've been feeling some pretty extreme stress lately... about the dossier and the adoption in general. I have no real reason to feel this way. The dossier seems fine. Anything that needs to be changed or corrected can be done pretty easily. We've done this before, and I don't feel there are any mistakes.

But the anxiety is still there.

Here are my thoughts:
1. Are we supposed to be adopting again right now? Yes, I feel we are.
2. Is there something going on with my child's birthmother? I felt some things the last time around that proved to be pretty accurate so maybe.
3. The boy list is now to zero, I think, from my detective work. Is our child supposed to be a boy? I really picture 2 little girls... I don't know.
4. Does it have anything to do with our original plan of adopting an older child? I don't feel like that is it because I feel a lot of peace about that decision.
5. ???????

Will you please pray for our adoption?

Dossier is in Our Case Manager's Hands!!

She just received it a little while ago... She said she'd look at it today or tomorrow morning. I'm hoping we don't need to make any changes! :)

Either way, we'll most likely know tomorrow.

This whole adopting a second child thing is really starting to become a reality.

Gotta go, but if I know tonight, I'll let you know. (R is screaming her head off.)

Dossier is on It's Way!

I just returned from the post office. It will be at our agency's home office by tomorrow at noon. Yes, I paid $17.50 to have it overnighted. A and I figure that is better than having it in transit longer, just waiting to get lost or smashed or rained on or something!! Plus, it is a really good feeling to know that by the time I get home tomorrow, our case manager will have it.

Side Note: This is usually not allowed by our agency. Policy states that the dossier is not to be turned in until the homestudy is finalized... I think our case manager just felt sorry for us. Plus, she knows us well. She was actually in Ethiopia with us when we met R!! I guess in this case, it counted for something.

Also, I heard there were more referrals today... A family who was #4 on the boy list (last they knew!) got their referral today. That's awesome, and let's hope that there were also a few girl referrals, too! If we were to get the on waiting list today, we would be 27...

Quick Update before Bed

Talked to our case manager tonight. After emailing me earlier in the day and saying we couldn't send the dossier in... She changed her mind when talking to A and is allowing us to send it in before the homestudy is finished. This means that if there is a problem, we'll know this week instead of next, which may or may not save us time making corrections. I don't anticipate having to make corrections, but if we do, it'll be good to start on them this week instead of next.

I have to make some copies of a couple documents tomorrow at school, get the passport photos that must be included in it (forgot about that-- A got his tonight), and overnight it to our agency! So that means our dossier will be at the home office by Wed. at noon. That's a good feeling...

Update on the Adoption

***UPDATE AS OF 2:48pm BELOW***

We found out yesterday that there was some confusion between our social worker and the person who reviews the homestudies for our agency. The reviewer also is responsible for reviewing our Eyes Wide Open workbook. She sent an email on Tues. evening saying she'd finally gotten to it and it was fine. I emailed her on Wed. telling her thank you but really looking for a reason to ask about our homestudy.

The reply from her yesterday stated that she had sent the homestudy back to our social worker for review on Monday... However, I had received an email from the social worker Tuesday stating she hadn't heard from her on it.

So, I immediately emailed the social worker and in a matter of 1/2 hour, it was straightened out last night. Thank goodness! I'm so glad I'm rather impatient and just emailed the reviewer! This means our homestudy is ready to go.... Except for the (stupid) child abuse check from the State. (Hey! Guess what! A and I don't abuse children!!)

So in the scheme of things, this delay really means nothing because we still would be waiting on that check. (Did you know that in our ENTIRE state, there is only ONE little old lady who does these checks?!?!?!?)

But the dossier is ready to be sent to the agency and we're ready to be placed on that waiting list. Please pray that our dossier is "perfect" like our last one was and that we don't have to make any changes!!

UPDATE: I JUST got an email from our social worker. It said, "M, deep breaths..." So I knew THAT wasn't good news. Our child abuse check will not be completed until the week of April 27th. Keep in mind that we requested this check in Feb. It was the first thing our social worker did after we signed our contracts. I just want to cry.

Ethiopia on My Mind

(The above picture is our last glimpse of Ethiopia, taken right before we walked into the Bole airport in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, on our way home with our new baby girl.)

It happens about once a month or so that my heart breaks all over again for R's beautiful birth country. This month, that day is today.

It weighs so heavily on me, Ethiopia... Those of you who read this blog know this is nothing new. I've spent the last 1/2 hour or so looking at pictures from our time there. Ethiopia is such a beautiful place but the poverty and suffering of its people! I can't even describe it, and tonight, I can't bear it either.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about germs on shopping carts. I told her that if she'd seen where R lived the first 3 weeks of her life, she'd understand why that just isn't something I worry about. I think that is what started this month's downward spiral into missing Ethiopia and longing to do SOMETHING to make a difference. I feel so helpless, though.

I think of R's birthmother and those beautiful children we met at the Ethiopian orphanages (and on the streets). And everything else. To say it is overwhelming is an understatement.

That's all for tonight.

Sleep tight.

My Poor Little Curly Fry

First, this is my blog. About first-time motherhood as well as our adoption. Maybe this post is TMI for some of you, but I'm putting it out there anyway...

This afternoon, when A brought R home from a day at his mom's house, she was NOT herself. A said that in the car, she would occasionally start yelling and crying and trying to get out of her car seat... He brought her in, and she immediately fell from his arms into mine. She looked sick, was acting lethargic, and didn't want to sit or be moved. I started to get worried, really worried.

I took her up to change her while A went to get a refill of her prescription for yeast infection cream (she keeps getting them, and I thought that might be what it was). As I tried to change her, she would not bend her legs at all. I kept asking her where it hurts (sometimes now, she can show me), but she just whimpered and kept her legs completely straight. (I was worried that she had a blood clot or something. She seemed in extreme pain and that it hurt when I tried to move/touch her leg. Those are both symptoms my friend H had with her almost deadly clotting, so I'm a little sensitive to that. I was waiting for A to come home to take her to the hospital!) I picked her up and called my mother-in-law to find out if R had hurt herself while at her house. (A said she had a great day.) C (MIL) confirmed that they had a wonderful day.

Through talking with her, though, I realized that R hadn't pooped in over 24 hours... That explained that. She was of course constipated... This is something I'd not experienced with her, but I know massage and soaking can help. I wasn't panicking anymore at that point, but my MIL kept talking although I wanted to get off the phone.

As she continued to talk, R suddenly tensed up even more and gripped onto my shoulders even more tight. Poor baby. However, her diaper was full! Thank goodness!

I changed her, A got home, and within minutes my sweet baby was her normal crazy self! We went downstairs and had dinner... And that was that!

(I know, great story, right?)

State Certification-- DONE!

Got the POA document state certified today. Involved going to our state's capitol, which is a little over an hour from our house.

Afterwards, we went to an ancient Egypt exhibit at a local museum. That was great fun, but I would strongly recommend not bringing your 17-month-old baby! (Have I ever mentioned my family's love of all things ancient Egyptian? It is passed down from my grandfather who was stationed in Egypt during WWII. Long story for another post.)

Now we're just waiting for the homestudy to be approved so we can get on that infamous waiting list! :)

New Numbers/ Compare-Contrast

Lots of talk on the agency's listserv today about the April numbers. Looks like when we get on the list, we will be like 25 or something... Wow, that's a big number, I gotta say. However, we don't really have a choice in that or what happens once we're on that list, so it is what it is. I'm not gonna stress about it.

I've been thinking a lot about the similarities and differences from R's adoption to this one. I feel sort of bad that I don't have the same feeling of absolute longing and excitement that I had the first time around. Should I feel guilty? So here are some thoughts:

Our first adoption, I wanted so badly to be a mom. I had wanted to be a mom for years, I ached to be a mom, and I just wanted it to happen as quickly as possible (and it did!!). This time around, the NEED to be a mom is not there... I'm already a mom!

With both adoptions, I was/am very eager to bring our daughter home. The thought of meeting baby #2 is just as amazing to me as it was to meet R...

We are moving quickly through paperwork to get on the waiting list. We know the list is LONG in comparison to last time, and that is why we decided to start this second adoption when we did.

I just don't want baby #2 to ever feel like she is not as wanted or eagerly waited for as her sister was. Because that just isn't the case. I'm already in love with her!

My feelings are just so different this time around, but the bottom line is that when I get "The Call" 6, 8, 10 months from now, I will cry just as much as I did when we got R's referral. And I know my heart will skip a beat the first time I see my girl's face, just as it did with her sister.

Adoption is not for the faint of heart! This I know for certain.

CIS Appointment

... in 2 1/2 hours! Let's hope all goes well and that we have a quick turnaround on our FDL! Of course, the difference this time is that we can be on the waiting list before we get the FDL so it is not as urgent as before.

Also, we got our bi-weekly call from our case manager the other night. The wait for an infant girl is now projected to be 8 to 10 months... Our first adoption took just a little over 8 months total!! All I can say is that it is a good thing we are fine with waiting a little longer so R can be a little older! (Of course our case manager said that the agency is in a "season of boys" right now. As much as I'm sure little boys are great, I know that our next child is a baby girl. Now, the 3rd-- that's a different story.) Ok, off to wake up my baby to go to our CIS appointment.

Photo Shoot Pictures

Ok, my friend H and I took our children to get Easter pictures today. I also got her pictures taken with my friend M's children and a live bunny on Saturday. I'm outta control, I know, but I mean, come on, it's R. Pictures of R are so fun!! And I sorta didn't realize H wanted to do pictures this month. I thought she wanted to do them at the end of next month when her girls turn 2 and 4... Whatever. Here are the pictures of my darling nearly 17 month old girl:

The last one is my favorite because she is obsessed with climbing up and down the steps like a big girl lately. It is a great "stage" photo.

Brace Yourself...

For extreme cuteness in the form of a small Ethiopian princess girl!

Here you go:

Now, answer me honestly here.... Is THIS picture cute enough to enter into that Children's Place contest? (She's wearing a Children's Place dress, but that is purely by chance and her favorite coat-- her jean jacket. She gets so excited when she gets to wear it. It is adorable!)

Yesterday, we took R to our monthly gathering for Ethiopian adopted kids and their families. She had a great time playing with all the other kids even though she was one of the smallest ones there. She definitely thinks she's a big kid and runs around after them and wants to go down the big slide HEAD FIRST (AUUGGH--gives her mama a heart attack, but she loved it. Fearless, my child) just like they do.

We had a blast! :)

Side Note: We received the draft of our homestudy today. Our social worker is leaving for a week's vacation tomorrow and wanted to get it in to our agency before then so she's been working like crazy to get it finished for us. (She's awesome.) We, and our agency, will proof it this week, so our final draft and dossier should be ready for official submission next week! YAY!

Questions Answered

A couple of you left me questions over the past few days. Here are the answers:

1. With the first adoption, it took about 5 weeks (a little less) to get our FDL after we were fingerprinted with CIS. In our state, we are able to submit the request and have the fingerprint appointment before our homestudy is complete. Over the next week or so, we have our fingerprint appointment and our homestudy should be submitted to CIS so I'm anticipating getting our FDL by mid-May. With our first adoption, we had to wait to have that magical piece of paper before we could get on the waiting list. The difference is that the first time, we were 4 on the list when first placed on it; now we will be something like 23 or 24 (I'm hoping not much higher than that).

2. For our agency, the list currently (from my detective work) is 22 for girls, 12 for boys. That is why there is such a difference between the ranges for getting a referral right now. There will be an updated number with the bi-weekly update we'll receive tomorrow via email.

And here is a cute R picture for the rest of you:

Baby Girl Picture

I promised my next post would have a picture of my girl in it, so here you go:

Isn't she cute? Of course. I have the most beautiful, cute, adorable child in the world. I'm a lucky mama! Is this picture cute enough to win the Children's Place baby contest? My friend, M, and I aren't sure that it is, so I'm going to keep that camera ready.

With that said, we're getting closer and closer to getting on that waiting list. I found out last night that the wait time for an infant boy referral is going to be more like 2 months. Girl referral is still in the 6 to 8 months range. Why not switch, you're thinking? Well, for one, we want another daughter. For another, I don't think having 2 kids under the age of 2 would be a good idea. That's why we started when we did. When we bring home baby #2, R will be a little over 2, maybe closer to 2 1/2. That is cool with us.

Fingerprint Appointment!

We got our fingerprint appointment notices today from Homeland Security!!

YAY!

Our appointment is Wed., April 8 at 8am sharp! We are so excited. Just one more step closer to bringing our little one home (in a year or so-- blah).

I remember the pure excitement I felt the day I went to the mailbox and sitting there, benignly, patiently, was our FDL... At that time we couldn't get on the waiting list without it. Now we can (b/c the list is MUCH longer now-- with R we were 4 on the list when we were put on it).

Also, I think we've picked a name. I would tell you, but in case you hadn't noticed, I don't do full names on this blog. If you're interested in knowing it, leave a comment with your email, and I'll let you know. :)

Back to being a mama now. More from me later. (My next post will have pictures of R. I promise.)