Seeing Red Right Now

As I've mentioned before on this blog, I'm the coach for our school's writing team. The team competes with other schools in our area and region, and actually, all the way to the state level. As a coach for this team, I'm also a judge for the competition.

I received a notice today that we had an unqualified judge (the other judge was a replacement for the other coach-- long story, some other time), but that was a mistake because she had coached and judged before when she taught at another district. I realized that we had written down her married name, not her maiden name, and that should be fixed quickly.

HOWEVER, while I was on the phone, the person told me that there was some controversy surrounding one of the pieces I judged at the last competition a few weeks ago. She told me that I was an "unfair" judge and proceeded to give me the definition of both a simile and a metaphor. She told me that I obviously had not read the coaches' manual (I have, although not this year) and that she would "require it of me." I told her I didn't need a definition of those words as I am the head of my department for my school... I also told her my reading the manual (again) wasn't necessary because I would not be judging another competition again.

Basically, what happened is that I gave a paper I read a score based on the fact that the girl wrote an essay, not a narrative, which is what we are told as judges the writing is supposed to be. The question was actually asked in the judges' orientation-- if a competitor writes an essay, what do we do? I simply followed the instructions given to me. I remember the paper very vividly because it was an amazing piece of writing but not what the competition is all about.

I'm just upset. I'm upset because I have never, in the 5 years as a judge and 4 years as coach, felt that I unfairly assessed a paper nor do I in this case. The paperwork I received from the state office actually had the words "Weak judge" written with a line going to my name. I'm also upset because I've been struggling with whether I should continue to coach before this happened. I've loved coaching, and I'll miss it. However, it is harder with R to be away from home for something for school, and, on top of that, we will most likely travel to bring our second child home sometime next school year. I don't feel it is fair for me to commit to something I may or may not be able to follow through on.

I'm the head of my department, have been a teacher for 8 years, and have my National Board Certification.... I'm not a "weak judge" or a bad coach. And just the thought that someone thinks that poorly of me in regards to something I've loved just bothers me.