Why is it always at Panera?...

... that I seem to get comments about my kids? Last night, after I picked up R and E at my friend M's house, we met my parents in M's town at Panera for dinner. They've been gone for 2 weeks, and the girls have missed them so much (and vice versa).

We got there fairly early, like around 4:45, which is good, as the place isn't too crowded yet. We get our meal and begin to eat.

A woman comes and sits behind us and opens up a laptop. She starts talking to us and the girls. I can tell she's curious about them big time. Throughout our meal she keeps talking to the girls, my parents, and me.

While R and my mom are in the restroom, my dad mentions something about Ethiopia and how big E is compared to just a few short months ago when we met.

The woman perks up again and starts asking about the girls, like when they came home, etc. She says it looks like they're adjusting well. I say that yes they are for the most part.

She pauses and says, "This may seem nosey, but why was she (E) taken from her birthmother?"

Ok. Umm, yeah, big time nosey.

I said something like, "she wasn't taken from her birthmother. She was relinquished by her birthmother."

(There is a big difference, I am thinking.)

And I say nothing more.

I read somewhere (I think maybe on another blog) about 6 months or a year ago the following:
"Children who are adopted do not owe you their life stories."

That's all I could think about last night as this woman asked a very personal and private question about my daughter's background.

Lady, many of my friends and a lot of my family don't know the full story of my daughter's life. (Heck, I don't even know it all.) What makes you think I'm going to tell you, a complete stranger?

I know this woman probably meant no harm and wasn't thinking when she asked the question, but it is not fair to expect that just because a child is adopted that we need to share (what can be painful) stories of how she came to her family with complete strangers.