My friend V once said to me that she thought sometimes she took her kids for granted because she didn't have to struggle and wait and worry to bring them home. She has 2 bio children and one on the way. She said that in our situation, adoption makes a person appreciate having kids more because of what we have to do in order to bring our children home.
I've been anxious this week about our second adoption. These changes to the process, although everyone at our agency is assuring me that things will work out, freak me out and totally worry me. Is that my apprehension from a few weeks ago? When I was feeling overwhelmed with anxiety? I don't know. Maybe.
It's weird because I have this double perspective. I started reading others' blogs before we got our referral and remember the longing I felt to have my daughter home when I read ones about children who were home. Now I'm reading those blogs again, and maybe some of you think of mine in that way. On the other hand, I have this feeling of being part of that crowd who's going through paperwork and waiting... all that stuff that makes me crazy.
The bottom line is that the changes will add a few months to our wait, before or after(or both) we get our referral. We brought R home at 3 months, and that is not going to happen with this second adoption. On the other hand, R is everything I prayed for and more, and I have to remember that our second daughter will be, too! All this wait is just His way of bringing OUR daughter to us.
And, if you're someone who doubts God (for a while, a struggle I had), for me, adoption cured that. I know R was put on this earth to be my daughter, and I, her momma...
May I always remember the struggles and blessings that come from adoption.
May I always thank God daily for the blessings of my children.
May I never take them for granted.
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This is our first glimpse of our (older) daughter at HH in Ethiopia. (2/18/08)
My Baby Girl
This is our first glimpse of our (older) daughter at HH in Ethiopia. (2/18/08)
Adoption Timeline
Right Now: We are a forever famiy of four!
Jan. 2009
Decide we will start the process to adopt again when we get our tax refund back.
Feb. 2009
9th-- Officially decide to start our second adoption & begin making contact w/ agency/SW & order birth certificates.
13th-- Medical letters make it to the agency. We'll wait over the weekend until Monday afternoon to learn what the decision is on our application.
17th-- Approved to adopt again. Infant girl; agency will consider an older child after more research.
18th-- Receive adoption contracts (YAY) and copies of our birth certificates in the mail. (1 Yr. R Day Anniv.)
24th-- Orientation call w/agency, contract & other paperwork notarized, 1st payment check written.
Mar. 2009
2nd-- Dossier/homestudy binders arrive. Complete application for child/family services in our state to be able to start homestudy process.
4th-- Doctor's form for R filled out. 1st attempt at getting clearance letter from the local police department.
5th-- Dossier call w/ CM. (Love her!)
6th-- Go to police station again-- they'll write the letter! Also get bank letter for homestudy completed.
10th-- Letter from the police station is now in dossier binder! A & I get TB tests. Med. letter for homestudy for A is completed after check up.
12th-- We get several docs, including POA, notarized.
13th--CIS fingerprint request (& payment) mailed to local branch; Med. letters for both homestudy & dossier are finished.
14th-- A's employment letter arrives. We might have to redo it. Emailed our CM to find out.
17th-- Employment letter ok. Get financial letter notarized, but have to redo it b/c notary messed up the date. Can't have that on a dossier!
24th-- Lots of notarizing and preparing for the homestudy visit.
25th-- Homestudy visit completed. We'll be on the waiting list soon! YAY!!!!! Fire inspection will be Apr. 6, 11am.
28th-- We receive our fingerprint appointment in the mail-- April 8 at 8am! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
31st-- We finish the "Eyes Wide Open" training manual.
Apr. 2009
2nd-- We finish the online training classes. Woo-hoo! Also get last 2 dossier documents notarized. WE ARE FINISHED!
5th-- SW submits our homestudy draft to agency for proofing/review.
6th-- Fire inspection (we passed!).
8th-- CIS Fingerprint appointment. All went well. :)
10th-- We get our POA state certified... Ok, now we're really finished w/ all the documents for both the homestudy & dossier.
13th-- SW tells us our HS is the next to be reviewed by agency. (Hurry up! :) )
14th-- Adoption training manual is approved by agency.
16th-- We find out that our HS was actually approved on the 13th, pending the child abuse check from our State.
17th-- Email from SW tells us child abuse checks won't be completed until the week of Apr. 27th. Email CM to see if we can send in our dossier early even though it is against agency policy. (She'll probably say no, but I figure it is worth a try!!)
20th-- After 1st telling us no, we are allowed to mail dossier in for review. Of course we won't be on the waiting list until our homestudy is complete sometime next week.
21st-- Dossier and fees are mailed. Will be at agency by noon tomorrow. WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!
22nd-- Dossier is in CM's hands!
23rd-- Dossier is approved by CM. Now we have to wait on those checks to finalize HS & get on waiting list.
29th-- Child abuse checks are finished!! HS is finalized, notarized, & on its way to agency's home office. Thank goodness!!! Wait list soon!
May 2009
4th-- We are on the list at #33.
5th-- Waitlist #30. Yes, we moved 3 spots in less than 24 hours.
21st-- Receive our FDL from USCIS. Now we have been granted permission from the US gov't. to adopt internationally.
26th-- Dossier is finished with the US & ET embassy authentication process. Next step: To ET for translation and submission to MOWA (when we get a referral, of course.)
June 2009
9th-- June number in-- #29.
July 2009
10th-- July number in-- #18. What??? 11 spaces in a month! Woo-hoo!
August 2009
6th-- August number in-- #16.
September 2009
4th-- September number in--#11.
October 2009
7th-- October number in--#6. Single digits! YAY!
19th-- REFERRAL DAY!
22nd-- Call with international adoption doctor. Good to go! SW signs paperwork for us.
23rd-- We get everything notarized and sent to our CM. Will be there by noon tomorrow!
24th-- Our acceptance of referral paperwork arrives at our agency.
26th-- Our CM has our referral paperwork. Now on to the ET side of this adoption!
31st-- We receive returned notarized referral acceptance paperwork... As well as our travel info! (Soon, please!)
November 2009
5th-- Next Steps phone call with our CM.
18th-- Our CM calls to tell us our court date is Dec. 2!
December 2009
2nd (night of Dec. 1st)-- We have our court date.
2nd-- We passed court!
4th-- Our CM calls to tell us our tentative travel date of Dec. 25. We contact a couple travel agents to find the best airline prices and flights.
7th-- Our travel dates are confirmed, and we book our tickets.
17th-- We receive our paper tickets in the mail.
20th-- Nana and Pappy bring E's curtains and bedding that Nana made. It is completely beautiful!
25th-- We leave for Ethiopia.
27th-- Gotcha Day!
28th-- Embassy Appointment.
31st-- Leave to come home.
January 2010
1st-- We arrive home. Our family day. What a great way to celebrate the new year!
Jan. 2009
Decide we will start the process to adopt again when we get our tax refund back.
Feb. 2009
9th-- Officially decide to start our second adoption & begin making contact w/ agency/SW & order birth certificates.
13th-- Medical letters make it to the agency. We'll wait over the weekend until Monday afternoon to learn what the decision is on our application.
17th-- Approved to adopt again. Infant girl; agency will consider an older child after more research.
18th-- Receive adoption contracts (YAY) and copies of our birth certificates in the mail. (1 Yr. R Day Anniv.)
24th-- Orientation call w/agency, contract & other paperwork notarized, 1st payment check written.
Mar. 2009
2nd-- Dossier/homestudy binders arrive. Complete application for child/family services in our state to be able to start homestudy process.
4th-- Doctor's form for R filled out. 1st attempt at getting clearance letter from the local police department.
5th-- Dossier call w/ CM. (Love her!)
6th-- Go to police station again-- they'll write the letter! Also get bank letter for homestudy completed.
10th-- Letter from the police station is now in dossier binder! A & I get TB tests. Med. letter for homestudy for A is completed after check up.
12th-- We get several docs, including POA, notarized.
13th--CIS fingerprint request (& payment) mailed to local branch; Med. letters for both homestudy & dossier are finished.
14th-- A's employment letter arrives. We might have to redo it. Emailed our CM to find out.
17th-- Employment letter ok. Get financial letter notarized, but have to redo it b/c notary messed up the date. Can't have that on a dossier!
24th-- Lots of notarizing and preparing for the homestudy visit.
25th-- Homestudy visit completed. We'll be on the waiting list soon! YAY!!!!! Fire inspection will be Apr. 6, 11am.
28th-- We receive our fingerprint appointment in the mail-- April 8 at 8am! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
31st-- We finish the "Eyes Wide Open" training manual.
Apr. 2009
2nd-- We finish the online training classes. Woo-hoo! Also get last 2 dossier documents notarized. WE ARE FINISHED!
5th-- SW submits our homestudy draft to agency for proofing/review.
6th-- Fire inspection (we passed!).
8th-- CIS Fingerprint appointment. All went well. :)
10th-- We get our POA state certified... Ok, now we're really finished w/ all the documents for both the homestudy & dossier.
13th-- SW tells us our HS is the next to be reviewed by agency. (Hurry up! :) )
14th-- Adoption training manual is approved by agency.
16th-- We find out that our HS was actually approved on the 13th, pending the child abuse check from our State.
17th-- Email from SW tells us child abuse checks won't be completed until the week of Apr. 27th. Email CM to see if we can send in our dossier early even though it is against agency policy. (She'll probably say no, but I figure it is worth a try!!)
20th-- After 1st telling us no, we are allowed to mail dossier in for review. Of course we won't be on the waiting list until our homestudy is complete sometime next week.
21st-- Dossier and fees are mailed. Will be at agency by noon tomorrow. WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!
22nd-- Dossier is in CM's hands!
23rd-- Dossier is approved by CM. Now we have to wait on those checks to finalize HS & get on waiting list.
29th-- Child abuse checks are finished!! HS is finalized, notarized, & on its way to agency's home office. Thank goodness!!! Wait list soon!
May 2009
4th-- We are on the list at #33.
5th-- Waitlist #30. Yes, we moved 3 spots in less than 24 hours.
21st-- Receive our FDL from USCIS. Now we have been granted permission from the US gov't. to adopt internationally.
26th-- Dossier is finished with the US & ET embassy authentication process. Next step: To ET for translation and submission to MOWA (when we get a referral, of course.)
June 2009
9th-- June number in-- #29.
July 2009
10th-- July number in-- #18. What??? 11 spaces in a month! Woo-hoo!
August 2009
6th-- August number in-- #16.
September 2009
4th-- September number in--#11.
October 2009
7th-- October number in--#6. Single digits! YAY!
19th-- REFERRAL DAY!
22nd-- Call with international adoption doctor. Good to go! SW signs paperwork for us.
23rd-- We get everything notarized and sent to our CM. Will be there by noon tomorrow!
24th-- Our acceptance of referral paperwork arrives at our agency.
26th-- Our CM has our referral paperwork. Now on to the ET side of this adoption!
31st-- We receive returned notarized referral acceptance paperwork... As well as our travel info! (Soon, please!)
November 2009
5th-- Next Steps phone call with our CM.
18th-- Our CM calls to tell us our court date is Dec. 2!
December 2009
2nd (night of Dec. 1st)-- We have our court date.
2nd-- We passed court!
4th-- Our CM calls to tell us our tentative travel date of Dec. 25. We contact a couple travel agents to find the best airline prices and flights.
7th-- Our travel dates are confirmed, and we book our tickets.
17th-- We receive our paper tickets in the mail.
20th-- Nana and Pappy bring E's curtains and bedding that Nana made. It is completely beautiful!
25th-- We leave for Ethiopia.
27th-- Gotcha Day!
28th-- Embassy Appointment.
31st-- Leave to come home.
January 2010
1st-- We arrive home. Our family day. What a great way to celebrate the new year!
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1 comment:
Hi and thanks for your post to our blog! It is some comfort to know there are others who can relate to the frustrating moments. I am excited to know that we are in similar stages of the process with AGCI. How long did your background checks take to come back? Right now, those are the only things standing between us and a number! Your daughter is beautiful!
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