Why We Adopted

You know, I wish I could say it was because we wanted to change the world or make a difference in it or because we were called by God to help ease the plight of orphans.

That wasn't it. Nothing like that at all. We wanted a baby, and let's just say getting pregnant wasn't my cup of tea. So, when I suggested adoption to A, he was all for it, but it wasn't because we felt (at that time) called by God or had a burning passion for orphans. I simply wanted, needed, HAD to become a mother. And that was it.

Wow, has that all changed. In the past year, since we started our adoption process on June 6, 2007, my world view and reason for doing what I do has changed forever.

Going to Ethiopia, I often say, was a life changing experience, and on top of that, we became parents for the first time. But that is the ending, not the beginning.

When we made the decision to adopt, we almost immediately decided that international, not domestic, adoption was for us. There are several reasons for this, but that's not the point of this post.

At first, we really considered Guatemala, mostly because this is the country we were most familiar with because a co-worker of A's had 2 grandchildren adopted from there. Ethiopia was not in the cards at all. Then, my mother said to me, "have you considered Africa?" Well, we hadn't. We went back to the info our agency sent us, and there was information tucked in the back about their new Ethiopia program. The rest is history.

As we got into this adoption process, our eyes were opened. We learned things about ourselves, the world, and our place in it that we never in our wildest dreams would have imagined.

I slowly began to realize that although I didn't see it at the beginning, God was there all along, push, nudging, urging us to do what we were supposed to do. It was in a conversation about international adoption with some co-workers, seeing a transracial family at the mall and thinking what an awesome and beautiful family it was, accepting that getting pregnant might be harder that I first thought it would be.

It was all part of the plan He'd laid out for us.

As we learned about Ethiopia, we fell in love with the country. I knew very little about Ethiopia when we signed a contract knowing our daughter would be born there. My heart broke and still does for its beautiful and strong people.

I began to learn about the challenges that face adopted children, specifically those in transracial families. I began to think about R's birthmother and what life must be like for her. (I know, at least in some part now, and I still struggle daily with the fact that she had to give up her child for me to be a mother. Sometimes the guilt is overwhelming.)

A and I fully embraced this process, this adventure. Before stepping on a plane to Ethiopia, A had never been out of the country except to Canada with my family a couple years prior. If you would have told me on my wedding day my husband would ever even consider going to Africa, I would have laughed and said, "yeah, right!" never believing it for a second.

I slowly began to realize the hand God was playing in this adoption. He gave me the patience and grace to trust in Him and know that what we were doing was what we were supposed to be and needed to be doing.

I cannot fully describe in words what going to Ethiopia was like. I'm not even going to try.

I will say that A and I left Ethiopia with our daughter, of course, but also with a passion for wanting to make the world a better place for those children we left behind.

That is why we will return, someday. That is why now I look at the world through the eyes of someone who has seen the poorest of the poor, and that changes everything else for you from that moment on.

Does that even make sense?