History

(I'll respond to my getting "tagged" and more about the baby book probably tomorrow. Other stuff on my mind tonight.)

History.

We all have one.

In the case of my two daughters, they have a common history. They are (or will be) adopted. They are from Ethiopia. They have A and me for parents. They are Ethiopian Americans being raised by white parents. Etc.

However, how my girls come to our family is different. In R's case, she was referred to us at 3 weeks and home with us when she was little over 3 months old. Most of the time, when I think of her history, it is with us. All but 3 weeks of her life, I knew she existed and loved her. Even though we weren't together her entire life, her history includes her momma's love almost immediately.

E, on the other hand, her history's different. Depending on when we pass court and travel (I'm hoping for around Christmastime but am not holding my breath), she'll be close to a year old. A year of her life that I will know almost nothing about. And her history is... well, without going into detail you and I both know I can't share, her story involves more loss and grief than R's does.

I have three pictures of E. Three. That's it. I've never held her in my arms, kissed her sweet cheeks, or sung her to sleep. But in one of the pictures especially, this momma sees a scared little girl. A sad little girl. In all three, I see MY little girl.

My little girl who has dealt with loss. Uncertainty. Grief. Pain. Sadness.

So, my questions for you are these:
How do you cope with your children's histories? How do you come to terms with that time when you and your child were/are apart?