A Letter

Dear Y,

(R's birthmother)

Tonight, as I cuddle our daughter close, she asked me with sleepy eyes to tell her the story of when A and I brought her home.

Out of the blue she says, "Mommy, why couldn't my 'Opia Mommy take care of me?" She caught me so off guard that I started to cry as I told why... (which I am not going to go into specifics in a blog...)

"Why does that make you cry, Mommy?" our wise almost-four-year-old asks me next. I told her that sometimes being in an adoptive family is hard. "Sometimes it's hard to be away from people we love, and it makes Mommy sad that your Opia Mommy lives far away from us."

In truth, she caught me off guard with her questions tonight.

It's been almost 4 years since you gave birth to our daughter. As her birthday inches closer, my heart gets heavier and heavier thinking of you and wondering how you are doing, what you are doing... Do you ever get the photo albums I send? Do you think about our girl? Do you regret your decision? Do you worry about her?

She's bright, shiny, beautiful.... She's smart, loving, caring, creative, amazing. Recently, she has started to adore her little sister and is such a great big sister to her. She's going to pre-school this year 3 mornings a week, and she LOVES it. At her school, the children get to make a lot of decisions about what and how they want to learn, and she is thriving.

Our girl is also strong-willed and stubborn. Knowing your story, I know she gets a lot of her determination from you.

I hope you are proud of her-- I tell her you must be. I hope you know how much she is loved, adored, and treasured. I hope you are pleased with the decisions A and I make for her. I wish so much that we were able to keep in contact with you better and that you could see her today. She is amazing.

Take care,

M