Speaking of work, there is a new development... The coaching program is changing so the one thing that is certain is that I will NOT be in my current position next year. Two options:
1. Return to the classroom (hopefully 8th grade language arts)
1. Return to the classroom (hopefully 8th grade language arts)
2. Apply and interview for a position that has been created because of Race to the Top funds. It is more a curriculum support position than it is an instructional coaching position so it will be posted to the entire district... No guarantee that I'd get the job so I might just end up with #1 being my only option. Honestly, I don't even know what all is involved in this job. The State still really doesn't know!
I have a meeting with the HR director on Jan. 3 at 1pm, as the curriculum director wants to know what the coaches' intentions are by Jan. 7. A wants me to not even interview for the RttT job and just return to the classroom. He says I was happier as a teacher than I am as coach, and he's probably right. But.... I don't want to be in the classroom my whole career, and, like the coaching position, this other one has the potential to be a stepping stone to another job (one I would want long term).
Regardless, the good news is that I will not be working exclusively in the building I'm in now, which is a relief. The RttT position is working with grades 5-12, and if I would be back in the classroom, my license isn't even for the grade level I work with now so I wouldn't be placed there.
We leave for vacation on Wed. morning for a week. Looking forward to getting away with my whole family! I'm nervous about the plane ride with the girls, as R has been umm, not good lately and E just in the past week has decided "No" is her favorite word. I have to say that it has been a struggle. I feel like I'm just barely staying afloat right now when it comes to the girls.
R was HORRIBLE today at church, and I ended up leaving early. R ran back into the service while E stood in the back of church by herself because I had to run back in after her. Then E fell and cut herself right under the nose and was screaming for me to hold her while I was trying to carry a kicking and screaming R. It was awful and embarrassing and stressful. I had just wanted to spend a Sunday morning at church with my girls, and it ended in disaster. I do not know what to do with R when she is behaving that way. I'm terrified of what the future holds for her. And I'm so frustrated by it. Why is it that I can maintain order and discipline with a classroom of 25+ 8th grade students but cannot manage to control my 3 year old?
I love my girl so much. R was the answer to many a prayer to have a daughter someday. She's an amazing child and is so full of life and goodness. But she will not listen or do what I say without a struggle. It can be something as simple as washing her hands after using the bathroom to something as major as the incident this morning at church. I just want my home to be calm and peaceful. Sometimes I feel so tense that my heart might explode.
2 comments:
I hear ya. You have to choose your battles. You decide what you can live with. For me it's a messy home. If my girls throw toys all over, I will pick them up when they go to bed. If you fight on everything it will wear you down. If she throws a tantrum just ignore her (I know you can't in church) but when Edie does it was just ignore her. I hope this helps, but you are a great mom. And a lot of people say the 3's are way worse than the 2's/
I know it sucks, but rest assured it's normal! It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong or that she will have a hard life. Trust me, I've seen much worse! And like your friend said, 3 is often harder than 2. I think the first child is also the hardest because we don't always have realistic expectations for each age. I know that is true with me, which is why I always have and probably always will struggle so much with C. Every year with her is always my first time dealing with a daughter at "that age." Augh!
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