I took R to Vacation Bible School today. There was an older (white) woman there who was very interested in the girls. She said to me, "Oh! You have some very beautiful girls with you this morning!!!!" in the tone I knew she was fishing for more information. I didn't bite.
She talked to the girls a little bit more and then finally, she says, "So, are they yours??" with that look on her face.
I said, "My girls? Are you asking me if my daughters are my daughters?" with a confused look on my face. "Of course they are!" I said as I walked away.
Oh, wait, I forgot. She then told me she has a friend who adopted a little girl "from SOME African country" and how she found ONLINE (what a novel idea!!) a site for white moms about how to do black girls' hair. That's right. And then I said, "oh, that's nice!" and THEN walked away. My bad.
Sigh. I know, I know. We need to be the poster mom and children for adoption. I should talk to her with kindness, blah, blah, blah. It just gets old.
Really old.
Yes, I know! You don't need to tell me I asked for it when A and I decided to adopt transracially! Yes, I know!! People are just curious and mean no harm!! Yes, I know!!! She was just curious about my girls and didn't mean to be rude!!! I'm totally aware of all that!!!!
It just drives me insane! Insane in the membrane! Insane in the brain!!
It's my blog!! It's my life!!! I can complain if I want!!! I wasn't rude to the woman. Not one iota!!!!
I would just like FOR ONCE to go somewhere and NOT attract attention and comments and questioning stares.
Sigh. Yes, I'm also aware that that's simply NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I get it. I've been a transracial adoptive mom for over 3 years now. I know!
On a side note, R had a great time at VBS. At the end of it, all the kids-- all ages-- gather in the main part of the church. A man who's sort of in charge (maybe the pastor-- IDK-- not my church) was talking to R's group and R gave him the picture she drew. As he did his closing remarks, he mentioned something about the picture and he wanted to thank the little girl who gave it to him although he didn't know her name.
Do you know what my girl did? In front of like 200 kids and adults, she stands up with her arms waving and says, "It was me!! My name is R!!! Hey guy, my name's R!!!!"
She's definitely not shy!
Hey, at least this post ends on a good note!
3 comments:
I love your R.
Good for little R. for taking her artistic credit!
Sounds like you handled the nosy lady's comments just fine. The obnoxious comments do ease up after the kids are older. I get very few when I am with my big boys, but more with my own little R. Hang in there... you are doing a great job!
maggie
I agree. We have only been home for 6 months and it is questions, questions, questions. When it isn't question, it is the need to tell you the name of every African American person they know. Quite comical! And annoying! My biggest surprise is all of the negative comments we receive about her hair. I have been completely been blown away by some of the rude comments. My reply is "We LOVE her HAIR!!!" I think my little E's hair is simply adorable! Does this happen to you?
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