Recently, I was talking to my friend H about my girls. She mentioned that although E is almost 2.5, she just seems like she should be so much younger. I agreed and said it was because we had so much more time with R-- so much more babyhood to drink up, enjoy, relish.
E came home at 10 months, and like I've said before, not knowing really anything about the time she spent in Ethiopia before our referral of her at 8 months drives me nuts.
All the adoption books and experts say that when a child comes home, you must allow him or her to regress to their "family" age, basically starting over from the time you brought the child home as their age. (Hopefully that makes sense. I feel I'm not explaining myself very well.)
It hit me, as I talked with H, that parents need that, too. Some days, I long for those precious days of babyhood that I missed with my E. She's still so new to my family-- sometimes I need to feel like she's 18 months old instead of nearly 2.5.
I hate the "lost" time I missed with my daughter. However, I know that this time with her Ethiopian family helped to shape her and who she is today. Her journey brought her to our family, and I would never, ever change that. She is so very wholly my daughter and I still think it is a miracle that a precious baby, born in rural Ethiopia, is my daughter. But still, some days I long for an 18 month old baby.
I guess my point is that sometimes, parents need a "family" age, too. Have any of you felt this way?
3 comments:
Yes. :)
I'm completly with you. Noah Tamirat also came home at 10 months old and even though we know his life story up to that point and I wouldn't change that for him I do sometimes wish I could have that time with him. He just seems to be growing up so fast. My baby will be 3 in just a few days.
It breaks my heart that I didn't know Lou as a baby. Even though she was born right here in this city, I know nothing about her past. When we went to the beach I kept wondering if that was the first time she saw the ocean. But some clever thinking on my part, I was able to get her hospital pictures (those are the only real pictures I have of baby Lou).
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