A Year

Today marks a year since we received our referral for E! As my friend S put it so well, she was so tiny, scared, and completely gorgeous. She was all that and more. I was at work when I got THE CALL on my cell phone. I'd just changed the ringtone to this completely crazy one the night before because we knew we were "unofficially" number one on the list.

The phone rang and in the same second, I was out the door of my office and running up the steps to my friend H's classroom. My case manager kept trying to tell me the details but I wanted her to wait so I could get some paper.

I burst into the last few minutes of H's 7th period class and could only say her name, unable to really speak with the emotion of the experience. No matter, she understood what was happening, shooed some students out of her workroom, and got the team camera to take some pictures of me while I spoke to J.

I heard the details of my E's story, which I'll leave private for obvious reasons. J said she was going to send an email with pictures. I hung up and called A to tell him he was a daddy times two. We waited for the email with pictures, which seemed to take forever. I text one word to my family and friends-- "REFERRAL!"-- as my hands were shaking so hard.

And, finally, the pictures came. Only 3 of them, but it didn't matter. What did matter was that we had a daughter halfway across the world. I can't describe what it is like to get a referral. I can only say that is the most emotional experience of my life. That night, we went to our favorite local Italian place for a celebration dinner and stared and stared and stared at her pictures.

A year later, she's been home nearly 10 months, and I can't really remember what it was like without her. We celebrated at that same Italian place, this time, a party of four, and my E ate a mountain of pasta and meatballs.

My E, I love you so very much. You are light and joy and goodness all rolled into one, and I am so very thankful that I am your mother. It has been a year since you became a member of our family, and I cannot wait to see what the future brings. Love you forever!